laughter

‘Every time Rich comes to deliver; I am in my best clothes. As his eyes climbed up, he stopped briefly at my chest and looked away.’: Mom suffers hilarious wardrobe malfunction during delivery, ‘There were two dark dots staring at him’

“I heard a knock, and I knew it was Rich. My beloved. Bringer of dreams. Rich gave me his million dollar smile then the color drained from his face. I shut the door, go to the mirror to check out the damage. There were two dark dots staring at him.”

‘I watched my husband come alive under the appreciation of another woman. Somewhere between the dirty laundry and dishes, I stopped laughing at his jokes.’: Woman says ‘your husband is funny, don’t forget to notice’

“When I was 22, he was the funniest man on earth. My cheeks hurt every time I was with him. Now, between the dirty laundry and pile of dishes, I could sprain my neck from how hard I roll my eyes in his direction. Every joke my husband tossed she caught with enthusiasm. He looked alive. His eyes were wide and his mouth was in a permanent grin.”

‘A friend shared an event post for a ‘car cruise.’ ‘Everyone is welcome.’ I didn’t have the heart to tell them they weren’t going to be in a parade after all.’: Mom hilariously takes kids to classic car parade by mistake, ‘One of these cars doesn’t belong’

“OMG YOU GUYS. I notice that EVERY. SINGLE. CAR. THERE is either some sort of hot rod muscle car. I spent the next ten minutes until the ‘parade’ started avoiding eye contact with anyone, plotting my escape.”

‘I felt someone hand-grab my toilet paper roll. ‘Excuse me! Let go!!’ A man was trying to pull it out of my hand. I thought it was a joke.’: Woman says ‘not even diarrhea would make me fight a mob of people to get toilet paper’

“I look in the aisle and there is no toilet paper on the shelves. None. Literally. I was shoved over like it was the last ticket for entry of the Willy Wonka factory. ‘Do you want to call the police?’ All I could picture was me on a witness stand crying hysterically and saying, ‘He tried to rob me of my toilet paper!’”

‘Honey, Red Lipstick must be earned,’ she stated. ‘Red Lipstick is a confidence that can only be achieved through time.’: Woman recounts her journey to ‘Red Lipstick Day at last’

“‘I cannot understand you. Let’s speak English, no?’ she said, impatiently. ‘Uh, okay.’ I replied. ‘Umm…I would like some red lipstick, please.’ She took a moment to look me over and I couldn’t help but get the feeling I was somehow inadequate. ‘I think you’d be more com-for-ta-ble in this co-lor…’ she said as she grabbed a lipstick tube off the shelf.”

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