laughter

‘Tragically, she died by poisoning.’ Needless to say, I was aghast, horrified. ‘Holy cow, I’m so sorry.‘: Woman recalls sarcastic husband’s morbid first date joke, ‘He was laughing so hard he was gasping for breath’

“We begin making more small talk. ‘You mentioned you’ve been married twice. What happened with your second wife?’ Manny sat straight up in his chair and looked me in the eye. ‘Well, sadly, she died as well…’ By now I’m thinking, ‘Oh my gosh, I could end up in the back of his trunk.’ Our server hands us our food. We just sat there across from each other in silence.”

‘The man yells, ‘Look! These are yours. They fell out of that box. I’m your mailman!’: Woman hilariously recalls run-in with Amazon Prime deliveryman who picked up her ‘new butt’ underwear

“I saw a man walk onto my porch, then he bent down like he was hiding. So, I was like, ‘Hell no, you aren’t about to steal my Halloween decorations.’ I grab a baseball bat and the dog, open the door, jump out and literally yell ‘Freeze!’ The man stands up, and he’s holding a pair of underwear. I’m like, ‘You dirty old man, you’re on my porch smelling underwear.’ I’m out here swinging this baseball bat and he’s screaming, ‘Wait! Wait!’”

‘I have to go the bathroom,’ my husband says, handing me the diaperless baby with poop on his hands. He rushes off.’: Mom quickly realizes she does NOT want another child after initially thinking she does thanks to friend’s precious newborn

“I met my friend’s new baby! I smelled the newborn goodness. I watched her little mouth open while she yawns and holds my thumb. Then, I felt a familiar sensation… my ovaries start to go off like firecrackers, like my little uterus has pressed the red button and is screaming MAYDAY! MAYDAY! We need a fetus!! I message my husband saying, ‘One more?'”

‘I’m leaving for college soon. I wanted to make my little brother smile while I still can.’: Big brother’s ‘goofy joke’ reminds us to ‘make every moment count’ with our siblings

“I’m starting senior year of high school and my schedule allows me to get home before my little brother Max. One day, I ran to my room and threw together the most embarrassing outfit I could find. When Max got off the bus, he was very confused and embarrassed, which means my plan worked. I decided to do it again the next day, and the next. Soon, people started donating costumes and he began to really enjoy it. As an older brother, it’s all I could’ve hoped for. A smile on his face.”

‘I’m shocked we haven’t been kicked out of my friend’s chemo. But the doctor likes us, I’m certain of it.’: Woman in hysterics with friend at chemo treatment, they refuse to ‘let the monster consume us’

“From the moment we strode in, to the moment we left, we were in tears. I don’t mean little, drippy tears. I mean big, fat, mascara stained tears. Some whispered as they watched. The ‘Indian Prince’ Doctor nervously smiled. The entire chemo ward waited to see what would happen next. We weren’t crying in pain. Oh no. We were laughing so hard we were crying. I remember being here with my husband after he was diagnosed. I was nervous how I’d feel. But you know – go big or go home.”

‘I totally biffed my first kindergarten car line drop off. Everything was going great, initially.’: Dad hilariously recounts running over traffic cone, ‘disaster’ of dad duties

“I was sweet and charming with the designated kid picker-upper teacher. And then… it. hit. the. fan. THUMP. I plowed over the ridiculously large orange traffic cone. The safety patrollers began frantically yelling at me, waving me down. I proceeded to army-crawl the entire length of the car, trying to pry out the stupid cone. I was a disaster.”

‘I no longer sit at tables where I might be the topic when I get up. I used to think that’s just how women are.’: Woman reminds us ‘worth’ can’t be ‘determined or negotiated’ by others

“If you’re sitting at the table where the topic of discussion is someone else’s shortcomings, mistakes, imperfections, flaws, or lawd the he said she said gossip, GIRL. GET A NEW TABLE. I assure you that when you leave your seat, you’re likely the next topic of conversation.”

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