“By the time she was 4, her tomboy phase became something different. I remember getting her ready for school. ‘Mom, I want to dress like a girl today!,’ she said. I went out to the living room and told my husband to ‘not make a big deal about what she was wearing.’ He was her protector.”
‘Are you a boy or a girl?’ My daughter responded with the craziest look on her face. ‘I’m a girl!’ I knew she was gay. I always knew she was ‘different.’
‘I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this,’ he said, ‘but she is not pregnant. I just saw her at a family gathering last week.’ I felt sick to my stomach. With shaking hands, I called my wife.’
“A 19-year-old commented on our photo: ‘Hey, message me, it’s important.’ My heart skipped a beat – could this be good? I dialed as quickly as possible. ‘From the moment I saw you, I knew you were meant to be his moms.’”
‘I gave birth to a beautiful Chinese baby in which I share zero genes with. HE DIDN’T GET THE MEMO.’
“I now had a 4-year-old, a 2-year-old, and I was newly divorced. ‘How were you able to give up the baby?’ I felt like I signed my life away. They needed to make sure I wasn’t going to go crazy.”
‘My husband told me he wasn’t upset, and suggested a ‘different’ kind of marriage. She ignited a fire within me. My mind was closed to the idea I could love more than one person. I worried I’d upset my children.’
“I was a typical 30-something, suburban mom – until a normal errand changed my life forever. I was so lost in my thoughts of her, wondering if we were flirting, if she was gay, or if maybe I just made a new best friend.”
‘If you EVER speak out, I know where the bullets are.’ I walked in the snow for miles in short sleeves. I woke up in the hospital, angry I survived, and pulled out all the hospital tubes.’
“I looked up from my bed and saw my mother and sister at the door. The look in their eyes is something I never want to see again. I feared that I had to be cured. I wish I had seen the warning signs.’
‘I was going to donate to her fund, but I found out her parents are lesbian. Sorry.’ My wife received this horrible message. We were so hurt.’
“We got a 3D ultrasound to find out the sex. It’s a GIRL! I bought hair bows and tutus. We were beyond excited. She was born perfect and healthy. No one knew she was hiding a secret illness. After realizing our sick child has two mommies, she couldn’t donate.”
‘I woke up next to my beloved husband with our 3 children across the hall, and realized I am no longer straight.’
“I paused what I was doing, took a deep breath, and asked, ‘Would you like to know something interesting about me?’ He said, ‘Yes, babe.’ He stopped washing the dishes, and turned to me. I broke down crying.”
‘It was right after the Pulse Nightclub Shooting. We both rolled over in bed. Me: ‘I’m gay.’ Her: ‘I’m transgender.’ Silence. Now what? I’m married. HAPPILY married!’
“Almost all of Sarah’s ‘stay at home clothes’ were now coming from the women’s department. I thought it was strange. I started to connect a few dots. I spent many nights lying awake wondering, ‘IF this was something… could I stick around? Was I ok with this? Could I still love her?”
‘Our birthing tub wasn’t set up. I went into the Jacuzzi with my mom, butt naked. The water became murky. I knew I was close. I could feel it in my bones. And still no midwife.’
“The water was warm. I wasn’t making any progress. The water was too high and gravity was working against me. At this point, I wanted the baby out more than I wanted a water birth. I texted my midwife. She asked me if I wanted to push. ‘YES!’ I cried out.”
‘My wife sat me down. ‘We are going to adopt.’ l couldn’t bear letting her down. I wanted to yell out, ‘That’s not fair to the child.’ I had my first panic attack.’
“Despite my ‘advanced maternal age,’ everything looked great. We naively thought getting pregnant would be easy for us. I felt stuck in the middle of two worlds.”
