LGBTQ

‘We went in thinking it’d be a fling. Neither of us had been part of a same-sex couple. Months in, we decided to come out to our families. It was all or nothing. It went as badly as it could have.’

“Up until that point, they had presumed we were just good friends. My parents believed they had done something wrong in raising me and asked me to keep the relationship a secret. We didn’t know anyone like us, and we didn’t have any role models. We had to put our faith in each other and in science.”

‘In the blink of an eye, we traded our passion for the typical American dream. The house, the yard, the white picket fence. We fell in step with everyone around us. Then, something changed.’

“Her name was Codi. She was the rainbow we didn’t know we were missing. We were done waiting for the kids to grow up, waiting for the house to be paid off. So, we put it on the market, bought the RV we always wanted, and sold absolutely everything. Our hearts and family grew a little bigger.”

‘I knew our marriage was over. He began feeling the weight of not being true to himself as a gay man. We were now entering uncharted territory – co-parenting.’

“I got off the phone devastated. Bawling. I felt like a failure. Losing a partnership like that, a friendship, felt like death. I began to picture all the holidays – separated as a family, and the awkward meet ups to switch the kids on our given days. I pictured being cold and disrespectful to other. It was the most painful things I could imagine.”

‘Someone at school told me you’re gay.’ I couldn’t keep this secret any longer. I poured my heart out to her. I thought I’d lost my friend. Until my phone pinged. ‘I like you, too.’

“We hid, for months. People started to suspect our relationship. We were pelted with rocks while waiting for the bus. We were spat on. Soon, her mom found out. They moved her 10 hours away. I barely had any contact with her. As the train arrived on the platform, she was waiting for me.”

‘Babe, know what I’m thinking?’ I was like, ‘Pizza or Chinese?’ He said, ‘We should have another kid!’ Our surrogate got pregnant with twins! Tim was calm, I was nervous.’

“Tim went on a business trip. I couldn’t understand why I hadn’t heard from him. Then I got the voicemail. ‘Hello, this is the police, please give us a call.’ A detective answered. ‘Who is Timothy to you?’ ‘He’s my husband,’ I said. ‘What’s going on?’ ‘I’m sorry to tell you this, but Tim passed away in his hotel room.'”

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