life plan

‘He looked at me and said, ‘You’re pregnant.’ I chuckled and said, ‘That’s not part of the plan.’: Mom overcomes ‘guilt’ about not enjoying pregnancy to embrace the joy of Motherhood

“A few weeks after our honeymoon I started feeling ill. I couldn’t place my symptoms and chalked it up to some sort of virus. This was the beginning of our first ‘plot twist.’ A little advice never take your first pregnancy test when your home alone. I’ve never cried like that in my whole life. Those two lines showed up before the minute was even up. I took another. Yup, still pregnant.”

‘Being 40 is too old for babies. My time is running out. I have lost count of the amount of times I have had this dream. It is so vivid and so real. I want to be a mother and in my dream I am.’

“In a previous life, with a previous partner, in a different country and a different decade, I was pregnant. I was pregnant for 10 weeks. But it was 10 weeks of feeling pregnant, of feeling hopeful, feeling excited, but also feeling cautious. And I was right to be cautious. I was given a due date, which we never got to.”

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