“Your dad’s wife will die unexpectedly of a drug overdose, followed by your dad to cancer just days later. Before your dad dies, he will sign over custody to you. You will fight tooth and nail through the courts for this child. This is your rock bottom.”
‘Your dad is going to die. This is a gut-wrencher. You will adopt a child. He will be your brother – the 4th child your dad has with his new wife.’
‘I have a secret. Somebody we know is hurting tonight. Somebody we know is watching their clock and praying for bedtime to come quickly.’
“There is a dirty little secret hiding behind the curtain. You are not the only one who crashes at the end of the day and needs everything to be silent, easy and invisible, so you can just BINGE OREOS IN PEACE FOR TWO FREAKING MINUTES.”
‘As I drove past him I muttered, ‘I wonder if that is him?’ Everything seemed right. The age, the injuries, the scars. I hadn’t seen him in 13 years. He was 4 years old then, but it seemed to fit.’
“I slowly approached him. When he looked at me, I shattered the ice. ‘Is your name Christian?’ ‘Yeah.’”
‘What’s the point?,’ I overheard in the corner of the room. I was laboring alone. My husband and I’s marriage was in shambles at that point.’
“‘And you continued the pregnancy anyways?,’ he said in a shocked and condescending tone, as he shook his head. My living unicorn was born with a full head of hair, and a palpable will to live. There wasn’t a dry eye in that delivery room.”
‘I wore my wedding dress to make dinner. ‘Honey, this mac and cheese is amazing.’ He’s lying because it came out of a box and is made from orange powder. ‘Thanks babe. It must be the dress.’
“Oh, are you wearing a dress? I didn’t even notice.”
‘My town spent years trying to figure out this man’s secret. One rumor was Dave was a secret millionaire. Others speculated he was mentally ill and homeless.’
“Dave always dressed in a sailor uniform. One rumor was he was a certified genius, who found the most happiness dancing on the side of the street. Whenever somebody honked or waved, Dave would dance a little dance, then smile and tip his hat. I can close my eyes and recall that happy little shuffle. He was captivating.”
‘His teacher suddenly jumped on the desk. He started walking across each one, to make sure every single eye was on him.’
“I’ll never forget when he had them throw their history books on the ground and tell them how they got it all wrong that day, and made choices that would come back to haunt them.”
‘Hi, I was 5 minutes away from calling you.’ Our baby’s heart was not sitting on the left side of her chest, but shifted to the right side. My stomach dropped with those words.’
“Silently, he began drawing on a blank piece of paper. When he was done, he turned to us, showed us his drawing, and began explaining what our future would look like. I started bawling. But we knew we needed to do it.”
‘Being 40 is too old for babies. My time is running out. I have lost count of the amount of times I have had this dream. It is so vivid and so real. I want to be a mother and in my dream I am.’
“In a previous life, with a previous partner, in a different country and a different decade, I was pregnant. I was pregnant for 10 weeks. But it was 10 weeks of feeling pregnant, of feeling hopeful, feeling excited, but also feeling cautious. And I was right to be cautious. I was given a due date, which we never got to.”
‘You have the perfect family.’ That’s what they saw. A life tied up in a pretty little bow. No one could’ve known what was happening behind closed doors.’
“It hasn’t just been a few years of hiding in plain sight. I smiled on cue. I showed up to play dates. I dressed my kids well. But here’s what was really going on behind our picket fence. Let’s start with my husband.”
