“I had 2 weeks to shove my belongings into trash bags and move out. While my breakup was still fresh, I met friends for dinner. They raised their glasses. ‘Here’s to being 30 and married!’ I noticed whispering, glances my way. They finished with a hurried cheers. ‘Lisa! Do you have any funny dating stories?!’ I drove home in tears, humiliated.”
‘Are you married? Children?’ Their faces fall. They question what’s wrong with me. Come up with creative ideas to fix my situation. Not ONE person offers a congratulations.’ 33-year-old woman explains why it’s okay to be single and childless
‘I caught myself telling my 2-year-old son today, ‘You’re just like your daddy.’ I wanted him to act and look like me. I hoped he’d possess some of my qualities.’
“It stopped me in my tracks after it rolled off my tongue. All of us want to see a little bit of ourselves in our children. But the older I get, the more I see his daddy in him. I’m raising a daddy’s boy.”
‘I stood in line, filling the medication that would remove the life within me. I looked at my fiancé. ‘I’m going home and grabbing my camera.’ If I didn’t do this, I’d regret it for the rest of my life.’
“I headed to the hospital. I remember being in the room, feeling blood dripping from my body. I watched my friend’s body bleed simultaneously, signs of life, as she waited to bring her baby into the world. A life leaving and a life beginning all in the same room at the same moment. I was transfixed.”
‘My mother-in-law wore a wedding dress to MY wedding. I didn’t think to ask what she planned to wear. It ended without anyone being shoved into the champagne fountain.’
“The morning of the wedding, all the women in the bridal party crammed into a tiny room in the church. Then, she walks in. I see it. My sister kept looking at me, then my mother-in-law, then the cop the venue made us hire. She pulled me aside, hoping I didn’t go for his taser.”
‘An overwhelming feeling came over me. I put my car in park and ran upstairs. After 20 seconds, a faint line appeared. Suddenly, I am bawling. I told myself to calm down.’
“The timer went off. I patted my belly. ‘You did it! Well done!’ It was time to take the first step in doing what I’d been thinking about for quite some time. When the nurse walked in with those papers, I went straight to the bathroom and sobbed. I walked toward the dreaded exit. I had to say goodbye.”
‘Come feel this,’ the doctor said. I put my hand on her belly. My heart sank.’ Mom recalls daughter’s rare cancer diagnosis after thinking it was just an ‘umbilical cord hernia’
“I snapped the traditional well-check picture of my daughter sitting on the exam table, bragging about our healthy girl. We were about to walk out with a good bill of health when the doctor asked me if I had any concerns. That’s when I remembered her large tummy. He laid her down on the exam table, and his face quickly changed to reflect my concern.”
‘My husband tucked her in. She whispered something. I knew what was coming. I wrenched out of bed. I was a sleep-deprived new mom with an overworked husband and no family nearby.’
“I walked into the living room. Her proud, dancing eyes locked onto mine. She always cried. It became my mantra, whispered to myself on the darkest of days when I desperately needed a light at the end of the tunnel.”
‘My daughter saw a spa day on TV and asked if we could ‘belax’ and have one too. After some contemplation, I thought, ‘Why not?’
“My daughter’s face was priceless. She squealed just like a sweet little girl you’d see in a movie when I said yes. As mothers, it can feel like we’re barely treading water. But we must also remember that our children need time to self-care too. There’s a universe of emotion going on inside their heads each day that we don’t know about.”
‘I openly said, ‘I never want kids.’ No one took me seriously. ‘You’ll change your mind when you meet the right guy.’ I’m not any less of a woman.’
“While my friends dreamt of fancy weddings and the number of kids they wanted, I scratched my head. I just wanted pets, books to read, and places to visit. I was accused of being ‘selfish.’ I was desperately hoping for ‘maternal instincts’ to kick in.”
‘There’s 1 thing NO ONE prepares you for as you enter parenthood. You feel like you’ve been pregnant 87 months. Next, that 7-pound baby you brought home is nowhere to be found.’
“The minutes creep by so slowly. You want to rush past the stage of night feedings, teething, and being so needed all the time. Then, before you know it, their childhood is slipping right through your fingers.”
