loss mom

‘Is there something wrong with her head?’ Matt insisted on an answer. He bowed his head in prayer. I held his hand tight.’: Mom loses daughter to anencephaly, ‘Rachel made me a better person. She is safe and I will see her again.’

“‘She’s going to live, right?’ The doctor looked at me and said words I will never forget… ‘These babies don’t live.’ She handed me a box of rough, thin tissues and left the room. I completely lost all composure and thrashed around that room like I myself was being killed. ‘Not my girl… not my girl…’ I asked Matt, ‘What are we going to do?’ Without a pause, my brave husband said, ‘We’re going to give her a name.’”

‘I never knew this picture existed. The fateful day we became parents. My heart races each time I look it.’: Triplet mom shares harrowing photo before losing 2 babies, ‘I see beauty. And a miracle unfolding’

“We don’t know who was in this photo, their tiny features are far too difficult to differentiate at less than an hour old. Just moments after my husband took this picture, our two babies were rushed up to the NICU. We never had that picture-perfect moment in the delivery room, the one where a smiling family shows off their precious newborn. Instead, this is our photo.”

‘I was sobbing. Pregnant at 40 was the furthest thing from my mind. I was scared. 2 of my babies died within 2 months of birth.’: Mother of child loss says ‘bonus baby’ was ‘biggest surprise,’ now thrilled for surviving triplet to have a sister

“I had just gotten home from running errands and opened up the fridge to pour a glass of wine. But before I opened the bottle, I ran upstairs to take a pregnancy test. My husband and I could never have kids on our own, but for some reason, I felt the need to just make sure. Within minutes, I had the answer. Tears poured down my face as I called for my husband. But here’s the honest truth. I didn’t want another child.”

‘I chose to wear headphones. I didn’t want to hear or see Lily, afraid she would die. I kept my eyes affixed on my husband.’: Parents who lost twin daughter navigate marriage through tragedy, ‘We weren’t remotely prepared for what lay ahead’

“My husband encouraged me to look at my 1-pound daughter. If Lily died, we agreed to sell all our belongings and move to a beach in Hawaii, disappearing until we felt strong enough to return – but Pat knew Lily was strong enough to survive. I had intense, terrifying thoughts. This is not what we anticipated when we took our vows, but we faced each day together. We’ve come so far from stupid teenagers breaking curfew for 5 more minutes together, but if they could look ahead, I know they’d be pretty damn proud of us, too.”

‘Can’t you just cut him out?’ It hit me. I have to give birth to my dead son. He was so beautiful.’: Mom ‘didn’t get a conclusive reason’ for child’s death, ‘the autopsy showed a perfectly healthy, fully formed baby boy’

“He had big hands and feet, chubby little cheeks, a perfect button nose, bright red lips and a little dimple chin. My fiancé burst into tears. ‘I’m absolutely heartbroken.’ We both were. The last words I said to our beautiful boy were, ‘You are absolutely perfect, our darling boy. We are so lucky to be your mommy and daddy. We love you so much.’ We didn’t get a conclusive reason for Ari’s death. The autopsy showed a perfectly healthy baby boy.”

‘Which bird is mine, mama? This one?’ My boys point to my tattoo. ‘But mom, who are THESE birds?’: Mom’s sentimental tattoo helps 3-year-old sons learn about ‘the babies in my tummy that died’

“‘They died? Why?’ Ira asked, concerned. ‘What happened?’ He shrugged his shoulders and looked at me. ‘Where they go? After they dead?’ ‘You know,’ I said tickling them, ‘You two are miracles. Our babies that didn’t make it out of my tummy alive are in Heaven.’ My boys would usually be distracted by now. ‘It has streets of GOLD. There is no crying, no sadness. No families are broken…we all live together. ‘We all live together there? Daddy too?’”

‘Is she your only one?’ Awkward silence. ‘Nope. She has an older brother. He died.’: Mother of stillborn son’s candid response to strangers’ prying questions, ‘He should be here’

“My daughter and I went to the mall. She was waving at everyone. It prompted an older couple to strike up a conversation. ‘She’s so cute and friendly,’ they told me. ‘How old is she? She’s big for her age!’ Then the inevitable question was asked. I just thought, ‘How do I get myself out of this conversation?’ I wonder what would happen if I just said, ‘My son died,’ then walked away.”

‘It’s OK to let go, baby. We promise he’ll take care of you.’ I felt her life leave her broken body.’: Couple lose newborn daughter to ‘totally random umbilical cord accident’

“She was suffering. The nurse wanted to try another medication to help ease her pain. Our daughter had an immediate reaction and stopped breathing. My baby was dying in my living room. Matt was racing home from work. ‘Please never let her suffer this way ever again.’ My heart couldn’t handle watching my baby endure this. Her body was tired. She’s now an angel in heaven.”

‘I flat out asked, ‘Would I be able to take my own photos during my C-section?’ She looked puzzled.’: Woman photographs her own C-section after losing baby in same OR last year, ‘That is empowering as hell’

“Mike shouted, ‘It’s a boy!’ I was clicking away, fighting back tears, trying to see my new babe, focus my camera. This was a surreal experience. Just 371 days before, in the exact same OR, our little Clark was also pulled out at this exact same spot. But there was no crying, no excited cheers, no shouts of ‘it’s a boy!’ He was born still. We knew our Clark sent this little one from heaven to be with us. Teddy’s birth was not only empowering, it was incredibly healing, too.”

‘He had curly blond hair, a perfect nose, pouty lips. They told me he was beautiful. I didn’t get to see.’: Mother survives ‘worst trauma’ after losing newborn son, insists daughter will grow up knowing big brother is ‘watching over her’

“I made the decision not to see and hold Jensen. It’s one of my biggest regrets I’ll ever have in my life. Honestly, I didn’t know how I could do it. I didn’t realize the permanence of him being really gone. Instead, I asked for a lock of his hair, and for them to take pictures of him. I wish I could go back to that moment, spend time kissing him. I wish I could’ve whispered in his ear, ‘I love you.’”

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