loss mom

‘Which bird is mine, mama? This one?’ My boys point to my tattoo. ‘But mom, who are THESE birds?’: Mom’s sentimental tattoo helps 3-year-old sons learn about ‘the babies in my tummy that died’

“‘They died? Why?’ Ira asked, concerned. ‘What happened?’ He shrugged his shoulders and looked at me. ‘Where they go? After they dead?’ ‘You know,’ I said tickling them, ‘You two are miracles. Our babies that didn’t make it out of my tummy alive are in Heaven.’ My boys would usually be distracted by now. ‘It has streets of GOLD. There is no crying, no sadness. No families are broken…we all live together. ‘We all live together there? Daddy too?’”

‘Is she your only one?’ Awkward silence. ‘Nope. She has an older brother. He died.’: Mother of stillborn son’s candid response to strangers’ prying questions, ‘He should be here’

“My daughter and I went to the mall. She was waving at everyone. It prompted an older couple to strike up a conversation. ‘She’s so cute and friendly,’ they told me. ‘How old is she? She’s big for her age!’ Then the inevitable question was asked. I just thought, ‘How do I get myself out of this conversation?’ I wonder what would happen if I just said, ‘My son died,’ then walked away.”

‘It’s OK to let go, baby. We promise he’ll take care of you.’ I felt her life leave her broken body.’: Couple lose newborn daughter to ‘totally random umbilical cord accident’

“She was suffering. The nurse wanted to try another medication to help ease her pain. Our daughter had an immediate reaction and stopped breathing. My baby was dying in my living room. Matt was racing home from work. ‘Please never let her suffer this way ever again.’ My heart couldn’t handle watching my baby endure this. Her body was tired. She’s now an angel in heaven.”

‘I flat out asked, ‘Would I be able to take my own photos during my C-section?’ She looked puzzled.’: Woman photographs her own C-section after losing baby in same OR last year, ‘That is empowering as hell’

“Mike shouted, ‘It’s a boy!’ I was clicking away, fighting back tears, trying to see my new babe, focus my camera. This was a surreal experience. Just 371 days before, in the exact same OR, our little Clark was also pulled out at this exact same spot. But there was no crying, no excited cheers, no shouts of ‘it’s a boy!’ He was born still. We knew our Clark sent this little one from heaven to be with us. Teddy’s birth was not only empowering, it was incredibly healing, too.”

‘He had curly blond hair, a perfect nose, pouty lips. They told me he was beautiful. I didn’t get to see.’: Mother survives ‘worst trauma’ after losing newborn son, insists daughter will grow up knowing big brother is ‘watching over her’

“I made the decision not to see and hold Jensen. It’s one of my biggest regrets I’ll ever have in my life. Honestly, I didn’t know how I could do it. I didn’t realize the permanence of him being really gone. Instead, I asked for a lock of his hair, and for them to take pictures of him. I wish I could go back to that moment, spend time kissing him. I wish I could’ve whispered in his ear, ‘I love you.’”

‘Where did you get these?’ I knew. ‘Ren’s nursery.’ He didn’t realize how serious I was. ‘Put them back.’: Wife unexpectedly triggered by husband’s attempt at act of kindness, ‘It was all downhill from there’

“We ran out of toilet paper and Tommy was supposed to go to the store. Irritated, I asked him to get me something to use. Maybe a paper towel? He finally walks in holding a pack of wipes. They were a very specific kind, Huggies all-natural wipes. I started tearing up. ‘Put them back, please.’ He laughed and insisted I used them. He didn’t realize how serious I was until I started bawling. Something in his room was now out of place.”

‘I’m sorry buddy,’ I heard him whisper. He laid him down. Just like that, Ren was gone.’: Couple’s emotional final moments with newborn son, ‘We feel your peace, you’ll always be our baby boy’

“We got a knock on the door. ‘I’m sorry for your loss, I’m here to take Ren.’ I couldn’t get myself to physically lay Ren in the box. I turned to my husband and asked if he was okay to do it. I saw his heart rip in two. Tears streamed down his face. We tried to take in every detail, remember his newborn smell. We gently took off the cap they gave him. He had tiny little blonde curls.”

‘He was so nervous. From the darkness of the hallway comes a little curly haired boy, weary of all these people.’: Couple adopts twin survivors of shaken baby syndrome, loses son just 2 years shy of being in his ‘forever home’

“We heard about twin boys with Shaken Baby Syndrome. It was a super stormy morning, we ended up having to pull off the interstate. I was dying to get to them. Everyone held back tears as long as we could. Malakai was scared. He had no idea who we were. He’d hardly look at my husband. He passed away less than 6 hours after saying goodbye to his siblings. I still would have driven to a teeny tiny town in the pouring rain to pick he and his twin up to bring them to their forever home.”

‘Can I see my boy for one more goodbye?’ A nurse gave him his first and only haircut. He was truly perfect.’: Couple loses son to stillbirth, anxious about new pregnancy, ‘My first is in heaven, I’ll meet him there someday’

“We rushed into the emergency room. I was bleeding so badly I thought I was going to die right there in the hospital alone. My husband was stuck checking me in for what seemed like forever. The events that happened next took place so fast, but as I look back on it now, the initial care I was given makes me so mad and sad. Once she finally realized the severity of what was happening, she ran for back up. I wanted to follow him right up to heaven. I begged God to take me too.”

‘The OB dropped my newborn. ‘It’s OK, you’re young. You’ll have more.’: Mom appalled by preemie’s treatment in child birth, hopes other child loss parents ‘never feel alone’

“Before I left, I turned back. I could see the heartbreak on my dad’s face. I was yelling bloody murder through the halls. They put my legs up. All I remember were bright lights and hearing, ‘Push! Keep pushing! He’s almost out!’ They failed to catch him. I finally got a call from my OB. She said her condolences. ‘I’m so sorry, I never predicted this.’”

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