“By the time my son reached Pre-K, there was no denying he was truly one fabulous little guy. People have asked me for years if Sam is gay or transgender. My response? ‘Sam is a child, and if I have anything to do with it, he’ll be a happy one.’”
‘The kid never leaves home without his purse. He spends his money on makeup, and loves all things pink and sparkly.’ Mom supports her 10-year-old non-binary son and ‘all his fabulousness’
‘Look at that beautiful little blonde baby you made! Why would you want to adopt a biracial child?!’ My parents were appalled.’
“We could not have looked more different from one another. One day, we were walking home from school when several boys rode their bikes up to us and started throwing rocks. ‘GO BACK TO WHERE YOU CAME FROM!’ We were terrified.”
‘I asked, ‘Are you okay?’ We were greeted with one line. ‘Twins. Congrats.’ We immediately hopped on a plane. We were told to spike their bottles with caffeine. There were roadblocks.’
“We found a surrogate. The doctor started to gush about how lovely she was! ‘You have to woo her and make sure she picks you guys!’ Communication was sparse. We were constantly checking emails. I’ll never forget my husband kneeling as he opened one eagerly awaited message. He stared at the computer screen, speechless.”
‘I don’t have a mother.’ ‘Baby, everyone has a mother.’ ‘When you were born, your birth mother asked if WE could be your daddy and papa!’ She searched for people to love you with all their heart.’
“A few more days went by and we figured we had finished that conversation until she asked the heaviest question of all, ‘Who is my birth mother?’ We looked at each other and quickly changed the subject.”
‘He asked, ‘What parts do you have?’ I said, ‘EXCUSE ME?’ I was uncomfortable being interrogated. He pressured me. I refused. He decided putting his hands on me was the ‘right’ thing to do.’
“I met a doctor I hadn’t seen before. I lifted my shirt to show him. Accidentally, I lifted it a bit too far, revealing my scars. He stared. I knew he was staring. Instead of doing the right thing, he decided to ‘find out for himself.’”
‘Someone at school told me you’re gay.’ I couldn’t keep this secret any longer. I poured my heart out to her. I thought I’d lost my friend. Until my phone pinged. ‘I like you, too.’
“We hid, for months. People started to suspect our relationship. We were pelted with rocks while waiting for the bus. We were spat on. Soon, her mom found out. They moved her 10 hours away. I barely had any contact with her. As the train arrived on the platform, she was waiting for me.”
‘Babe, know what I’m thinking?’ I was like, ‘Pizza or Chinese?’ He said, ‘We should have another kid!’ Our surrogate got pregnant with twins! Tim was calm, I was nervous.’
“Tim went on a business trip. I couldn’t understand why I hadn’t heard from him. Then I got the voicemail. ‘Hello, this is the police, please give us a call.’ A detective answered. ‘Who is Timothy to you?’ ‘He’s my husband,’ I said. ‘What’s going on?’ ‘I’m sorry to tell you this, but Tim passed away in his hotel room.'”
‘My sister’s back in town, newly divorced. You should give her a call.’ I heard a knock. He looked up and smiled. I thought, ‘One day, I’ll marry this man.’ I didn’t tell him. Why ruin the moment?’
“A friend asked, ‘What has kept you married for 42 years?’ The last 5 decades have gone by in the blink of any eye. I could see by the look in my husband’s eyes what his answer would be.”
‘I remember thinking, ‘What the hell is conversion therapy?’ She introduced me to ‘Pastor Jake.’ He was going to ‘take good care of me.’ I immediately wanted to leave.’
“He told me how he is an ‘ex-gay.’ After he placed the ‘electrodes’ on my body, he turned on the projector. He showed me ‘homoerotica’ images, and if I became ‘excited,’ it would send a shock throughout my entire body. He did it repeatedly until I passed out. He told me he ‘didn’t need permission from parents.'”
‘I don’t have another three to four hours. My mom is dying!’ It was a 400-mile trip and they were complete strangers. ‘I’ll take you,’ I said. They looked at me in disbelief.’
“My mom has terminal cancer and it’s only a matter of seconds, minutes, hours before she passes.’ The passenger wheel was hanging off and their eyebrows were furrowed in distress. I had work very early the next morning. ‘Why don’t you come sit in my car for a bit?”
