loving an addict

‘I found you barely breathing. Lifeless, sleeved roll up, hunched over, gasping for air. I shook you and shook you. I was numb.’: Woman’s bittersweet realization loving heroin addict ex-boyfriend, ‘saving you will always be my best decision’

“I was so focused on not letting heroin kill you, I almost let it kill me. You pushed through to one year sober. But you decided to share that milestone with someone else. Forget about me and our life together. After everything we went through, you cut off communication with me through a text. You told me you were seeing someone else through a single text. That was all I deserved to you. ‘We can’t do this anymore.’ That was the most I could get out of you.”

‘The officer asked, ‘If you’re a nurse, why are you with a junkie?’ They searched for ‘evidence.’ My person was gone.’: Woman says love of her life died of addiction because of ‘shame, stigma’ surrounding the disease

“I baked cheddar scones — they were Jared’s favorite. I took a nap. When I awoke, it was dark outside, and he wasn’t in the house. He said he’d gone out for air. When he came back, he went straight to the bathroom, yelling at me to ‘mind my own business.’ He never talked to me like this. His voice dripped with anger. I don’t know why, but I listened. I got in my car. When I came back, the washing machine was running. He’d started my laundry. I walked through the kitchen and that’s when I saw him face down in our living room.”

‘I’m not an addict, but I was addicted to trying to fix one. If you’re lucky, they recover. If you’re really lucky, you recover, too.’: Woman learns firsthand that loving one with addiction will ‘consume you’

“You will stand in their bedroom and plead that you ‘just want them back’. If you watch the person you love disappear right in front of your eyes, you will start to dissolve too. Those not directly affected won’t understand. It is not the person who uses, but the addiction. And yet, sadly… it is not the addiction that dies, but the person.”

‘He got involved with women who resembled his mother. He was in a dark place. What he found, was heroin.’: Woman loses the love of her life to addiction, urges he was ‘not just some junkie’

“‘I never want you to meet my mother,’ he would tell me. I assured him she couldn’t scare me away. The cops told him to pack clothes and leave his mother’s house. ‘You aren’t going to arrest her for assaulting me?’ The cop replied, ‘You’re a big guy. There’s nothing I can do.’ I remember just shaking my head, leaning in for a hug. I love you more, Michael. But that love wasn’t enough.”

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