“Why do I show you my face? Why do I show you my pain? Why do I reveal these heart-breaking scars? I’ll tell you why.”
‘As painful as this picture is for me to see, it hurts even more this could become ANY ONE OF YOU. I know I’m a lucky one.’
‘Your voice got loud. You said I made a nasty mess. I’m sorry, mama. I didn’t mean to make you mad. You look so pretty today.’
“I love your soft hair and your makeup, mama. I’d like to put makeup on my face, but I don’t have any. You run around searching for your phone, and I have an idea! I saw a marker in the other room. I color all over my face. I bet I look beautiful! But, you didn’t think so.”
‘Momma, can you please call the judge? He’s moving too slow. Does he know I need you to be my momma? I’ll tell him. I need to be adopted. I can’t wait anymore.’ My boys waited 3 long years.’
“We started making visits with his siblings. This one forever changed my life. I felt a little tug on my shirt. He said, ‘Are you Jeremy’s mom?’ I said, ‘Yeah buddy, I am.’ And then his crushing response was, ‘Will you be my mom too?’ I cried. I hugged him. I was speechless.”
‘A couple sat in the courtroom, anxious if there was any update to the case of a baby they loved dearly. This crying woman wasn’t just a stranger, she was my soon-to-be-daughter’s foster mother.’
“This baby they loved so much, they’d met in a high school gym. People are often surprised when I talk about my girl’s foster parents, especially that they’re still involved in our lives. I honestly don’t see HOW it could be any other way.”
‘Ewww put that away. I’ll never get stretchmarks like that when I’m pregnant.’ It was such a personal attack – feelings of shame and disgust had me cringing at my husband’s touch.’
“I was left curled up on the couch in the fetal position. I remember grabbing my thighs and crying to my husband, ‘How am I so big already? How could I possibly get any bigger?’ My 3-year-old son asked, ‘Mama, what’s wrong with your belly?’”
‘I wish I could prepare you for the news you’ll receive just hours after snapping this blissful picture. I know you’ve been worried about the size of your happy baby’s belly.’
“He’s such a happy, calm baby. He’s never been sick, so you know there has to be an easy solution to whatever is causing his belly to appear big… A simple solution that may bring a few small moments of fear and discomfort, but after that, all will be fine.”
‘They tell us a baby boy has been born in Texas, our home state. They don’t know many details, but ask if we would be interested. I cannot imagine what she must be feeling.’
“The next hour is a blur. She has until 12:30 to make her final decision and she is spending the morning cuddling her sweet boy.”
‘I caught a glimpse of my 12-year-old daughter and wondered who that woman was.’
“Every mama’s heart is burdened with the weight of her children’s fleeting childhoods. But the beauty is that we are still Mama. They may be too big to carry, or are living with their spouses, but we are still Mama.”
‘What are you doing, Mommy?’ ‘Oh nothing, Sweetie.’ That was the honest, ridiculous truth.
“I was scrolling through my phone, doing absolutely nothing. Nothing of value. Nothing worthy of taking my attention from him. And him asking that of me —it made me uncomfortable.”
‘People were trying to push me away from breastfeeding. We need LESS of the fear mongering.’
“Not once did I have someone tell me, ‘Just push through! You’ve got this.’ It was always, ‘I wasn’t able to either. Just give her formula.'”
