mania

‘Something happened,’ I sobbed. ‘We had a fight and she called the police. I’m going to the hospital.’ I was convinced my boyfriend would break up with me on the spot.’: Woman with Bipolar Disorder details eye-opening journey to acceptance

“I was so afraid of being ‘crazy’ I couldn’t admit I needed help when I was literally in the hospital for psych evaluation. Today, I’m healthier than I’ve ever been in my life. But it came at a price. I lost my best friend. My soul sister. I live every day in fear of the monster who lives within me.”

‘I look at my kids and tell myself, ‘Their life would be better without me.’ I push away my partner. I feel my life spiral away.’: Mom shares candid reality of manic depression, urges ‘you are not alone’

“I use what little energy I have for my job and my children. By the end of the day, I can’t sleep. I can’t be productive. I want nothing more than to lie in the dark. I give myself a pep talk to finally brush the knots out of my hair. Some days, I look in the mirror and cry. Then comes the mania. Like today, I’ll clean like crazy. Take a nice, long shower. I’ll play extra long with the kids and message all the people my depression kept me from. All while wondering when depression will strike again.”

‘He caught me off guard. ‘Let’s meet.’ Weeks later, the inevitable happened. My fairy tale was under attack. My sorority sisters called the police, who brought me to the hospital. It’s all hazy.’

“I started to see signs all around me. It seemed as though clues were everywhere and everyone was in on it. I had no words, but the real me was crying out, ‘What is going on?!’ I couldn’t explain what was happening to me. My mind was stripped of everything.”

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