mania

‘I look at my kids and tell myself, ‘Their life would be better without me.’ I push away my partner. I feel my life spiral away.’: Mom shares candid reality of manic depression, urges ‘you are not alone’

“I use what little energy I have for my job and my children. By the end of the day, I can’t sleep. I can’t be productive. I want nothing more than to lie in the dark. I give myself a pep talk to finally brush the knots out of my hair. Some days, I look in the mirror and cry. Then comes the mania. Like today, I’ll clean like crazy. Take a nice, long shower. I’ll play extra long with the kids and message all the people my depression kept me from. All while wondering when depression will strike again.”

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