marriage counseling

‘The therapist looks at him. ‘Well?’ she asks, ‘what do you feel when she cries?’ He’s staring at the floor. ‘Not much.’: Woman reminds us ‘lack of empathy kills relationships’

“She cries and tears flood her face. She mumbles through broken sobs, ‘He doesn’t love me anymore. He isn’t the man he used to be.’ The therapist leans in. ‘Look at her face. Tell me what you see, tell me what you feel. Ignore what your mind tells you, and listen to your heart.'”

‘Just get the babies in the car.’ I stood there for too long, wondering how to let a stranger clean up my mess. It was way harder than I wanted it to be.’: Mom thanks Trader Joe’s employee for showing her ‘the beauty in the mess’

“I believe I told you ‘just shove it in, and pray,’ which I immediately wanted to follow-up with, ‘That’s what she said.’ I heard the bag filled with grapes, strawberries, and blueberries tumble to the ground. Without hesitation, you told me to let you clean it up and you would be right back out with fresh replacements. I didn’t want to accept the help, but I knew I needed it.”

‘Life gets loud. Pay attention to the nudges in marriage. The cues. Don’t ignore them, don’t fight them.’: Woman urges ‘you can’t put your spouse on the backburner’

“‘Okay. Bye.’ That’s what our marriage needing work sounded like. It’s wasn’t an, ‘I love you.’ It was a big ol’ red flashing sign. After 3 children and 20 years together, careers, and attempting to maintain a home, marriage became an afterthought. We function better when we are in front stage. Centre stage. Every time.”

‘You should feel lucky to be with me. No one else would love you.’ My first year of marriage wasn’t ‘rough.’ It was hell.’: Woman leaves ‘prince charming’ abuser to advocate for others, ‘I feel freer than I ever have in my life.’

“‘How much longer are you willing to live like this?’ My mind screamed. This CHRISTIAN counselor was introducing the option of me leaving my husband. ‘He is a narcissist. This won’t stop.’ He was driving extremely fast and irresponsibly down the highway. I was crying, begging him to stop. Then he’d take pride in being the one to ‘comfort’ me. I didn’t believe in divorce. What were my options? Lifelong suffering? It dawned on me – I was being treated horribly. I deserved so much better.”

‘He’s selfish. My husband is feet up, on the couch, quietly sipping his favorite beer, that I bought for him.’: Wife says despite her husband’s faults, she definitely ‘married up’

“When my husband and I sat down with our pastor for our first session of pre-marital counseling, my mind was a flurry of white noise, punctuated by red-hot panic. The one thing I do remember our pastor saying was, ‘The best marriages happen when both people think they married up.’ Damn, was he right.”

‘Where do I go?’ His voice cracked. My ex-husband slept on my couch, I’d lock my bedroom door and leave.’: Mom recalls ‘awkward’ co-parenting while her ex-husband slept on her couch after marriage split

“‘I don’t want to keep doing this. I can’t.’ I was sitting on the floor of our dream home. ‘What?’ His voice cracked. I could hear the pain and disbelief. ‘Is this really happening?’ I knew in my gut I wouldn’t recover in this marriage. I needed space. I needed to find out if I could survive this hidden trauma. I’d been lying to the world, but worse, I’d been lying to myself. I hated sharing my new home.”

‘You’ve been lying to me.’ My frantic husband was pacing the room. ‘What’s really going on?’ Tell the truth.’: Wife admits her own infidelity, promises your marriage is ‘worth fighting for,’ says ‘you can gain trust again’

“My phone was in his hand. I was half asleep. He’d found a thread of messages to a friend of mine. I’d been telling her I felt like the other guy was the one for me. Not my husband. As you can imagine, he was blindsided. ‘Tell me what happened,’ he kept repeating. Tears streamed down my face. If I said it, then that made it more real.”

‘I’m done.’ His one-word response was, ‘Finally.’ Receipts for motels showed up on MY credit card. It was the beginning of me.’: Woman re-discovers herself after divorce

“Receipts for bars, motels showed up on MY credit card. When I picked him up from the airport, he was too busy texting her to talk to me. I’d been led through multiple layers of intoxication. I drained my energy and my bank account trying to work things out. I was deathly scared I would be alone forever.”

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