“It was a dreary day. I was standing by the window with tears streaming down my face. The kids were whining in the background. The house was a complete disaster. I was trembling and my knuckles were white from gripping the chair. My marriage was crumbling before my eyes.”
‘I’d be driving to work and see the ‘perfect’ tree to ram my car into. I stared at the railing upstairs, picking out the spot to hang from. I knew this was not normal, but it was my new normal.’
‘Kalen I am done.’ We both were bartenders. I was a single mom, and this amazing guy was just waiting to get his next high. He did not even weigh 110 pounds and had very sad eyes.’
“I met this amazing guy. He always had headphones in, came in late every day and refused to speak to me. Being the high-strung, outspoken girl I am, I knew I would change that. Little did I know what I was up against.”
‘I couldn’t believe it. I opened the pregnancy test and there was my first ever positive. BIG FAT POSITIVE! Baby was the size of a pearl. ‘That’s not good.’ Dr. Hiener said. ‘Did she fall out?’
“Our doctor couldn’t do the emergency surgery. My father-in-law did. I tried to enjoy every moment I had with her. Jason and I were surrounded by love, and so was our little girl.”
‘My husband was distant and mean, calling me his ‘future ex-wife.’ He drank too much and went to bed. He was on the phone with his cheating partner as I was cleaning up.’
“I asked him if he’d had another affair. He denied it at first saying ‘they were just friends,’ but I knew the truth. I even could guess who it was. Over a few bottles of wine, some markers and poster board, the epic ‘Take my Ex’s Stuff Yard Sale’ was created, and a hit in the neighborhood.”
‘Your dad is going to die. This is a gut-wrencher. You will adopt a child. He will be your brother – the 4th child your dad has with his new wife.’
“Your dad’s wife will die unexpectedly of a drug overdose, followed by your dad to cancer just days later. Before your dad dies, he will sign over custody to you. You will fight tooth and nail through the courts for this child. This is your rock bottom.”
‘We swiped right. She was heading on a huge trip. My first thought was: SHE’S ADVENTUROUS. Then she asked me if I’d join. My second thought was: SHE’S CRAZY.’
“Nevertheless, I booked all my flights. We had a match. We spent every single day together. It could have gone awry, but it didn’t. It became clearer that, ‘If you liked it, then you should have put a ring on it.’ So I did.”
‘I cheated on you with a woman I met at the gym. She has a daughter, and I’m her father. She’ll be 1-year-old in a few days.’ My mind went blank. ‘Did she know you were married?,’ I asked.’
“If you had told me 4 years ago I would be sitting in a waiting room with my husband, his affair partner, and her mother, I would have laughed in your face. But here I am. I’ll never forget what happened next.”
‘I see you as an attractive woman, not my daughter.’ Then he said, ‘You’re the kind of woman I always wanted. If you weren’t my daughter I would marry you.’
“My father made me feel guilty about it. He said I would destroy our family. That he would get deported to Mexico and my family would lose everything we worked so hard for. He told me to say I made it up because I was a rebelling teenager angry at my father. So I lied to them, I told them exactly what he told me to say.”
‘My sister’s back in town, newly divorced. You should give her a call.’ I heard a knock. He looked up and smiled. I thought, ‘One day, I’ll marry this man.’ I didn’t tell him. Why ruin the moment?’
“A friend asked, ‘What has kept you married for 42 years?’ The last 5 decades have gone by in the blink of any eye. I could see by the look in my husband’s eyes what his answer would be.”
‘You should leave me.’ The words popped up on my screen. I knew my marriage was stressed, but I had no idea it was about to snap. Fear ripped through my gut. What was going on?!’
“I left the office early to get home and calm things down. He had been drinking. 6 years of sobriety gone in a flash. Then, he confessed to the affair. I was appalled. ‘Did you love her?’ ‘How long?’ ‘Why?’ That night was a blur.”
