“While my friends dreamt of fancy weddings and the number of kids they wanted, I scratched my head. I just wanted pets, books to read, and places to visit. I was accused of being ‘selfish.’ I was desperately hoping for ‘maternal instincts’ to kick in.”
‘I openly said, ‘I never want kids.’ No one took me seriously. ‘You’ll change your mind when you meet the right guy.’ I’m not any less of a woman.’
‘I took maternity photos in the dress I wore to my husband’s funeral.’
“I didn’t know I was pregnant on the day of the funeral. Clothes were strewn about in a panic as I rummaged through every drawer, hamper and closet 2 hours before I was supposed to meet the photographer. Then I saw it. Hanging quietly in the corner where it had remained for the last 7 months.”
‘Your dad isn’t ready to give up the cuddles he’s getting in Heaven yet. He knows this baby will never know him. He wants to get to know baby as long as possible first.’
“The last few weeks of pregnancy are the slowest. Your pelvis is on fire! Your hemorrhoids are raging. Your penguin waddle CLEARLY screams dilated-to-a-4! You whisper to yourself, ‘I’m going to be pregnant forever, aren’t I?’ But then, a stranger sent me a message.”
‘You’re 13 weeks pregnant!’ My bosses were so excited. Then things took a turn. ‘I have an issue with you pumping at work. Your job at this company is over.’
“I was heartbroken and confused. Was this man REALLY telling me I couldn’t pump?! I had no idea what to do. I needed this job! So, I wrote him a letter. ‘Come sit and talk with me,’ he said.”
‘Mom received a phone call, we must come to the hospital quickly. We were meant to be picking out baby clothes! Our world came crashing down. Life would never be the same again.’
“My Auntie came out of the ward, face pale and sick. I started saying ‘no no no no’. She told me I needed to sit down, and I collapsed to the floor. We were ushered into a small, hot side room.”
‘This is dwarfism and I’m 99% certain the result will be fatal.’ There it was. A bomb. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t talk, I didn’t understand at all. She was perfect.’
“As she rambled, completely ignorant of the fact I was in my own puddle of tears, she wrung her hands. It was horrible. At that point, my mother stepped in. She and my husband scooped me out of the chair and we left, never to return.”
‘I hated being pregnant. I know I’m not supposed to say that, but I did.’
“I hated the weight gain. It wouldn’t have bothered me so much if I had just looked 9 months pregnant from the start; but that slow gain that made people second guess if you were pregnant, or just eating all the carbs you could get your hands on, was a real self-esteem killer.”
‘The receptionist uttered 10 words I will never forget, ‘Baby, it’s not good. You need to get here now.’ I knew I was sick, but nothing could’ve ever prepared me for what was happening.’
“Every symptom, dismissed as normal. At one point someone said, ‘You worried a lot with your daughter, don’t worry this time.’ To this day, those words haunt me.”
‘I worried my wonderful southern knight would leave me because I couldn’t give him the family he wanted. I started to break down, slowly. I felt so alone.’
“We officially got the great news and shouted it loud for all to hear. We were on cloud 9. Everything was fun and exciting. Until it wasn’t.”
‘Our 14.5 ounce baby girl, with less than a 20% chance of survival, lived. She made it. She survived.’
“She had translucent skin and you could see every bone in her body. I couldn’t believe a child the size of a can of Coke was living.”
