“My breakup was fresh. I had 2 weeks to shove all my belongings into trash bags. I noticed some whispering, glances my way. They finished off with a hurried cheers. ‘Lisa! Do you have any funny dating stories?!’ The exchange was, frankly, humiliating. I felt like I was deficient in hitting life’s expected mile markers: Marriage. Children. More children. As innocent as conversation can be, it hurts.”
‘Here’s to being 30 and married!’ Everyone lifted their glasses in unison. I drove home in tears, 33 and single.’: Woman faces ‘stigma’ for being ‘unmarried and childless’
‘I wanted to be sterilized. ‘You need your husband’s permission,’ I was told. I was stunned. As an adult woman, why did I need my husband’s blessing to make decisions about MY body?’
“I begged for years, but was quickly refused. I didn’t feel maternal, but everyone told me I’d change my mind about not wanting kids. I felt constant worry if my period was even a little bit late. I knew I had to take a stand before I lost my health insurance.”
‘I openly said, ‘I never want kids.’ No one took me seriously. ‘You’ll change your mind when you meet the right guy.’ I’m not any less of a woman.’
“While my friends dreamt of fancy weddings and the number of kids they wanted, I scratched my head. I just wanted pets, books to read, and places to visit. I was accused of being ‘selfish.’ I was desperately hoping for ‘maternal instincts’ to kick in.”
‘I took maternity photos in the dress I wore to my husband’s funeral.’
“I didn’t know I was pregnant on the day of the funeral. Clothes were strewn about in a panic as I rummaged through every drawer, hamper and closet 2 hours before I was supposed to meet the photographer. Then I saw it. Hanging quietly in the corner where it had remained for the last 7 months.”
‘Your dad isn’t ready to give up the cuddles he’s getting in Heaven yet. He knows this baby will never know him. He wants to get to know baby as long as possible first.’
“The last few weeks of pregnancy are the slowest. Your pelvis is on fire! Your hemorrhoids are raging. Your penguin waddle CLEARLY screams dilated-to-a-4! You whisper to yourself, ‘I’m going to be pregnant forever, aren’t I?’ But then, a stranger sent me a message.”
‘Your job at this company is over.’ I was fired for providing nutrition to my newborn baby.’: Woman births ‘miracle baby,’ gets fired 7 weeks later for making ‘natural choice’ to breastfeed in private at work
“My bosses were ecstatic and couldn’t wait for my baby to arrive. They even gifted me a car seat. ‘Hey, by the way, I have a hands-free device I’ll need to bring to work. I’m choosing to breastfeed.’ My desk was in a private room away from patients. I wasn’t asking for permission. I was just giving a heads up. 10 minutes later, I got a message. ‘I have an issue with you pumping at work.’ I was heartbroken and confused.”
‘Mom received a phone call, we must come to the hospital quickly. We were meant to be picking out baby clothes! Our world came crashing down. Life would never be the same again.’
“My Auntie came out of the ward, face pale and sick. I started saying ‘no no no no’. She told me I needed to sit down, and I collapsed to the floor. We were ushered into a small, hot side room.”
‘This is dwarfism and I’m 99% certain the result will be fatal.’ There it was. A bomb. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t talk, I didn’t understand at all. She was perfect.’
“As she rambled, completely ignorant of the fact I was in my own puddle of tears, she wrung her hands. It was horrible. At that point, my mother stepped in. She and my husband scooped me out of the chair and we left, never to return.”
‘I hated being pregnant. I know I’m not supposed to say that, but I did.’
“I hated the weight gain. It wouldn’t have bothered me so much if I had just looked 9 months pregnant from the start; but that slow gain that made people second guess if you were pregnant, or just eating all the carbs you could get your hands on, was a real self-esteem killer.”
‘The receptionist uttered 10 words I will never forget, ‘Baby, it’s not good. You need to get here now.’ I knew I was sick, but nothing could’ve ever prepared me for what was happening.’
“Every symptom, dismissed as normal. At one point someone said, ‘You worried a lot with your daughter, don’t worry this time.’ To this day, those words haunt me.”
