“In the middle of our conversation, a woman walked up and stood before us. She had tears in her eyes. She simply asked for a favor. ‘We have to leave, and I was wondering if you guys could launch ours for us.’ She didn’t say why she chose us.”
‘I quickly read it, a tribute to ‘Trenton.’ He was 21 when he died, just a week ago. I instinctively asked her what happened. He had drowned. My heart broke for this woman.’
‘This is my baby now. ‘Mountain View Crematory 31934,’ it reads. It’s been 15 months since I held him as a body, and not as ashes in a bag.’
“‘I had a brother,’ they’ll say. Perhaps he’ll tell people about that morning, watching us screaming over his brother’s body. Or maybe he’ll hold that in his memories quietly, to spare others that sadness.”
‘Two men in uniform showed up at her door. ‘They’re coming. The Marines are coming.’ I looked at my mom. ‘I have to go,’ I said, and hung up immediately.’
“‘Paul didn’t show up to work today. This isn’t good Mom. I need you to pray,’ I said. I hadn’t spoken to my husband in 48 hours and was really worried. Every text sent went unanswered. I called a fellow Marine. He asked me, ‘What do you know?’”
‘Can you wipe my eyes? Can you make my tears stop?’ We sat in silence as my 90-year-old father’s tears fell. He was going to be alone for the first time in 69 years.’
“He laid his head on her chest. He kissed her and he cried. He told her how much he loved her. He said he wouldn’t trade one day of his life with her. He said he would marry her all over again. He said he will see her soon, and to hold the door for him.”
‘GOODNIGHT. LOVE YOU.’ A faint ‘love you’ left my mom’s lips back to me. Little did I know when I turned to leave, those would be her final words.’
“My brother requested we not prolong the inevitable. My dad, not wanting to believe, broke at that moment, and our lives forever changed.”
‘Do you know where you are?’ I shook my head yes. ‘Do you know who I am?’ Yes, I nodded, grabbing his wedding band. Then, Jeremy left the room. I coded 3 more times.’
“‘Do you know who Lisa and Jerry are?’ Again, I nodded yes. I recognized my parents’ names. ‘Do you know who Jamee and Isabella are?’ I couldn’t recall. The names seemed foreign. My own children.”
‘He is a good son. We love you Jeff.’ I couldn’t stop sobbing. He went on, as if they both were standing next to his bed. His eyes were closed, but he had the most peaceful smile.’
“He was sleeping, when I heard him say something. I leaned in. As clear as can be, he started having a conversation with Mom and Jeff. Jeff is his son, who died 2 years ago. They were whole, healthy, and together once again. I was overwhelmed by what had just taken place.”
‘I didn’t realize how much I would miss my dad’s handwriting. I didn’t know handwriting could be part of the grieving process. Mourning handwriting? But I did. I still do.’
“I watched him sketch out that second attempt and smile at it. He looked up and said, ‘How’s this one? I think this one is better, don’t you think?’ Maybe he was imagining it actually being tattooed on me and how that would feel, after he was gone.”
‘It stopped my heart. I landed on a glass I was carrying, and a chunk of it punctured my jugular. A voice came to me and told me I was dying. Oh God no! I didn’t want to die.’
“I suddenly felt nauseous. I was standing at the kitchen counter – and my next memory is opening my eyes, and I’m lying on something red. I felt shattered glass falling from my face. I ran my hand down my chin, where I felt something snag my finger.”
‘There is NOTHING right about this picture, but EVERYTHING is right about it. Because it’s the only Christmas picture I have.’
“I never understood the value in having them until I couldn’t have them anymore. I thought I had time. But I didn’t.”
