“‘Paul didn’t show up to work today. This isn’t good Mom. I need you to pray,’ I said. I hadn’t spoken to my husband in 48 hours and was really worried. Every text sent went unanswered. I called a fellow Marine. He asked me, ‘What do you know?’”
‘Two men in uniform showed up at her door. ‘They’re coming. The Marines are coming.’ I looked at my mom. ‘I have to go,’ I said, and hung up immediately.’
‘Can you wipe my eyes? Can you make my tears stop?’ We sat in silence as my 90-year-old father’s tears fell. He was going to be alone for the first time in 69 years.’
“He laid his head on her chest. He kissed her and he cried. He told her how much he loved her. He said he wouldn’t trade one day of his life with her. He said he would marry her all over again. He said he will see her soon, and to hold the door for him.”
‘GOODNIGHT. LOVE YOU.’ A faint ‘love you’ left my mom’s lips back to me. Little did I know when I turned to leave, those would be her final words.’
“My brother requested we not prolong the inevitable. My dad, not wanting to believe, broke at that moment, and our lives forever changed.”
‘Do you know where you are?’ I shook my head yes. ‘Do you know who I am?’ Yes, I nodded, grabbing his wedding band. Then, Jeremy left the room. I coded 3 more times.’
“‘Do you know who Lisa and Jerry are?’ Again, I nodded yes. I recognized my parents’ names. ‘Do you know who Jamee and Isabella are?’ I couldn’t recall. The names seemed foreign. My own children.”
‘He is a good son. We love you Jeff.’ I couldn’t stop sobbing. He went on, as if they both were standing next to his bed. His eyes were closed, but he had the most peaceful smile.’
“He was sleeping, when I heard him say something. I leaned in. As clear as can be, he started having a conversation with Mom and Jeff. Jeff is his son, who died 2 years ago. They were whole, healthy, and together once again. I was overwhelmed by what had just taken place.”
‘I didn’t realize how much I would miss my dad’s handwriting. I didn’t know handwriting could be part of the grieving process. Mourning handwriting? But I did. I still do.’
“I watched him sketch out that second attempt and smile at it. He looked up and said, ‘How’s this one? I think this one is better, don’t you think?’ Maybe he was imagining it actually being tattooed on me and how that would feel, after he was gone.”
‘It stopped my heart. I landed on a glass I was carrying, and a chunk of it punctured my jugular. A voice came to me and told me I was dying. Oh God no! I didn’t want to die.’
“I suddenly felt nauseous. I was standing at the kitchen counter – and my next memory is opening my eyes, and I’m lying on something red. I felt shattered glass falling from my face. I ran my hand down my chin, where I felt something snag my finger.”
‘There is NOTHING right about this picture, but EVERYTHING is right about it. Because it’s the only Christmas picture I have.’
“I never understood the value in having them until I couldn’t have them anymore. I thought I had time. But I didn’t.”
‘There were 2 missing from our Thanksgiving celebration this year – our brother, who lost his battle to cancer, and our mom, who is still with us, but lost within herself.’
“I sat next to her and she looked at me. She said, ‘Who are you?’ We knew someday it would happen – Our time has come.”
‘I didn’t know then, as he held me in his arms, that less than 5 years from that night he would be dead.’
“I didn’t know this moment would be one of the few. When our babies fell asleep, and we’d have enough energy to dance in the kitchen, suds still on my hands from the dishes as he would pull me away from the sink when his favorite song would come on.”