mental illness

‘What do I do with a daughter? I can’t do this.’ I was terrified, wracked with fear.’: Mom terrified of having daughters after trauma of being raised by mom with mental illness

“In a perfect world, each of us would have mothers who are quick to show love, affection. I was the little girl who didn’t understand what that felt like. I’ve heard of times my mom took care of herself. She had shoes to match every outfit, was always so put together. This beautiful woman who looked so classy, elegant. But I know nothing of this person my mother was. She was cold, harsh. Much of her medical history is a secret.”

‘You can’t put me in ICU Room 6. My mom just died there last week.’: Young woman miraculously survives pulmonary embolisms just one week after mom dies of ‘broken heart’

“I lost my best friend. ‘What am I supposed to do now?’ All I’d ever known was taking care of my mother. Suddenly, I felt a tightness in my chest. ‘Well here is the panic attack I’ve been waiting for since she died.’ I arrive at the ER. The doctor came in. I remembered her. She was the doctor who admitted my mom. My heart rate shot up in panic. I looked her right in the eyes. ‘You can’t put me in Room 6. My mom just died there last week.’”

‘Come out tonight! Drink!’ Next thing I remember was a police car coming my way. I hung my head.’: Woman overcomes alcoholism, ‘drinking will not help your depression, put the glass down’

“My husband and I were no longer together. I was drinking every day. A police man stepped out of his vehicle. I could hear his shoes crunching leaves as he walked over to me. He got down to my level and said, ‘Do you need me to take you to the hospital?’ I couldn’t find words. Shame washed over me. I nodded yes.”

‘That should do it.’ I grabbed the Xanax I’d talked my friend into giving me, grabbed a beer, swallowed.’: Woman survives suicide attempt overdosing on pills, ‘My husband saved me, those grandbabies. It scares me to think I almost missed all of this’

“I watched as Bradley Cooper’s character glanced at the camera and pulled down the garage door. I couldn’t breathe. I knew what he was going to do. I knew what he was feeling. I glanced at my husband, who was now sound asleep. I started to cry. I knew those feelings intimately. It has been 4 years for me.”

‘I had to drop out of high school. My identity was being ripped from me.’: Young woman devastated after dropping out of school due to mental health problems, later graduates in adult education

“The one thing I was ‘known for’ was being taken from me. I vividly remember I’d have to hide in the bathroom before school started, practically unable to function, dragging myself to my classroom at the last minute. I felt entirely numb. I felt absolutely nothing. How could I not be graduating? It was my senior year!”

‘Your son cut class today.’ I got the phone call no parent expects. ‘Excuse me?!?!’ I was LIVID.’: Mom comforts teen son battling depression, ‘we should treat mental illness the same as physical ailments’

“My first thought was, ‘They have the wrong boy.’ My son loves school! Frustrated, I yelled, grounded him. Then, the next morning, I heard it. Sobs coming from the shower. ‘Mom, I’m not feeling okay.’ He told me he felt extremely depressed. That it was so bad he contemplated killing himself and had skipped class to find a quiet space to cry alone and breathe. Instantly, I felt a pang in my heart.”

‘Since you’re 30 weeks, we do a mental health evaluation,’ she said matter-of-factly. I hesitated. ‘Uhhh. Okay.’: Mom shocked to be diagnosed with antepartum depression, depression during pregnancy, after nurse midwife surprised her with ‘mental health evaluation’

“Immediately, the nurse midwife started asking me questions. ‘In the last 2 weeks, have you had thoughts of harming yourself or taking your own life most days, some days, or not at all?’ Me: ‘Most days.’ My throat became dry and tight. I couldn’t hide it anymore.”

‘Wow, he really cares about me.’ His scheme to butter me up to lose his virginity worked.’: Domestic violence survivor reveals she’s been ‘scared to speak my truth’ for years, but finally realizes ‘I’m stronger for what I’ve been through’

“I was sitting in my room doing homework. His ex-girlfriend called. He was caught red handed. He drove to my house with flowers and sobbed. ‘I’m so sorry. I’m just so insecure because you’re so out of my league – I got nervous and cheated.’ I was so angry. My relationship was destroying my family. Nevertheless, I went to Disney with him anyway. I stood in the middle of Magic Kingdom crying, alone and terrified.”

‘At 13, there was blood on the counter, a strange calm on my mom’s face. She tried to get help.’: Woman candidly shares effects of mother’s suicide, reminds us ‘healing comes in waves’

“I’ve been to my mom’s grave twice. In 20 years. You won’t find a single photo of her in my home. I know this wasn’t her fault. It doesn’t change the effects her illnesses have had on me. None of it changes that her 60th birthday is not a birthday at all, because she is dead. I want to honor her, I really do. But I can’t face the woman who tried to break me.”

‘I loved my older cousin. At 8, I learned the only way to be friends with him was to have sex with him.’: Daughter and mother in addiction recovery together after years of childhood trauma, ‘If that isn’t wonderful, I don’t know what is’

“I remember the bright red carpet in his closet. This ongoing ‘event’ became our secret, I held onto this secret for close to 15 years. I never got over what happened to me, I stuffed it so far down. This has been the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life. I finally surrendered. I had enough. I needed to give myself a chance to live.”

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