“Meanwhile, in an alternate universe, moms everywhere are having a field day with their perfectly color-coordinated school sessions and craft projects. People are using this time to get fit, eat better, organize their homes and closets. Crossing off line items on their to-do lists like it’s their job – and then there is me.”
‘My toddler screams, ‘Mommy, CHANGE MY BUTT,’ during my conference calls.’: Mom says ‘today you’ve done enough, give yourself some grace’
‘Y’all, I was too embarrassed to go to the car wash. ‘Everyone pick up their stuff.’ I just wasn’t willing to listen to my husband.’: Mom shares hilarious car wash fail
“Basically, my car was too dirty to go to a car wash. I chose the vacuums as far away from other people as humanly possible, sure no one would notice the avalanche of crap about to fall out of my passenger side door. I was so very wrong. Up pulled a man in a light blue, flawless car.”
‘At first all I saw was the mess. Their cleaning after dinner was sub-par. There’s still crap everywhere. And for the LOVE, why do the shoes NEVER get put in the bin?!’
“But then I saw her.”
‘A friend of mine called. ‘Hey, I’m going to swing over and hang out with you for a few.’ I panicked. This wasn’t a planned swing by.’: Mom remembers what’s important after friend’s unexpected drop-in
“She came over and automatically opened my laundry room door. She went into my bedroom to make sure my bed was made. Then she made her way into my kitchen and checked my sink to make sure I had done the dishes. She gave me the once-over before we sat down to catch up.”
‘She ‘knew I wouldn’t understand.’ Immediately I corrected her. I’m no stranger to pain. My husband struggled to pull the utensils out of their ‘hiding place.’ Then, I heard him say it.’
“You do it for the people who don’t even live here. You do it to impress your visitors. You do it so no one will see your mess.”
‘I started the dishes, but the toddler pooped her pants, so I had to change her. Do you know toddlers can produce purple poo after eating blueberries? I didn’t until I called 911.’: Mom hilariously recalls her hectic day
“The lady called me an abomination. There was a cry in the bedroom. The baby had woken up. Oh wow he smelled a little like cheese, not quite blue cheese, but definitely aged cheddar.”
‘Imagine if we stopped beating ourselves up and just saw ourselves as our children see us? As everything.’
“So, when you’re asked, ‘what did you do all day?’ ‘Save the world,’ is an acceptable answer.”
‘My initial reaction was to text the teacher and ask her if she could hold one for him. He helped pick them out, so he deserves to get the one he wants, right? But then the other half of me thought, ‘No, you’d better not.’: Mom grapples with giving son special treatment
“And then it dawned on me: This. This is why moms are so exhausted.”
‘At the performance, my baby boy blew out his diaper. I scooped him up, rushing to the bathroom. This was at our fancy playhouse, which apparently meant no changing table.’
“I set him down as I cleared away the fancy bowl of potpourri that was not helping this situation. I was about 25 wipes into the situation when, to make the mess worse, he starts projectile vomiting while I am changing him.”
‘I’m drowning in clutter and it’s making me depressed.’
“I know I shouldn’t gauge my parenting on whether or not my home is clean, but I do. I’m always apologizing for the mess, and I don’t like visitors to come over unexpectedly.”
