“We got married! I was so happy, I truly thought we were going to be okay. I had two amazing daughters, a rocking career, a husband who wasn’t perfect, but he tried. Then my world fell apart.”
‘I found out my marriage was a lie. He was unfaithful. I had been lied to for months. I spewed venomous hate towards him. I was numb. Then, I found out I was having a miscarriage.’
‘As soon as she checked with the doppler she knew. And deep down I knew. I just prayed I was wrong. All I could get out is ‘why isn’t it flickering?’ They just said ‘we are trying to figure that out.’
“I screamed, asking if it was her cord that caused it over and over.”
‘David and I have been pregnant 8 times. ‘I just took a pregnancy test. It’s positive.’ I sat on the toilet staring at the positive test until my legs went numb. This was not a part of our plan.’
“Despite the odds, the ‘treatment’ was unsuccessful. Our little fighter continued to grow. Something in my gut didn’t feel right about a second injection, so I refused. I pushed her to keep looking. ‘Wait, what’s that?’ The doctor turned back towards the screen. I saw our little baby for the first time. I instantly wept.”
‘My husband and I decided during his deployment we would try to get pregnant as soon as he got home. I got pregnant the first try. But, I wasn’t supposed to mother this baby.’
“It was hell. My doctor removed it and sent me on my way. And then I was alone.”
‘Is it weird having one white twin and one black twin?’ They are POLAR OPPOSITES! She is fair-skinned with bright blue eyes. He is dark skinned with brown eyes and black hair.’
“Nurses didn’t know how to approach me. I got statements like, ‘I’ve been a nurse 23 years and have never worked with twins like them.’ People are shocked. When we’re out in public I get questions. ‘Are they adopted?’ ‘Are they twins?’ ‘Do they have the same father?’ It’s amazing.”
‘Baby, when I hear you say you’re pregnant what I actually hear is ‘life destroyed.’ He was right. The Universe had been playing this cruel joke on me for 4 years.’
“Surprisingly, the doctor pulled me into her arms, ignoring professionalism and boundaries, and held me. She whispered in my ear, ‘I heard you talking in the change room. I know how badly you wanted this. Don’t give up yet.’”
‘On my son’s birthday, I laid on the floor, belly-down, to force myself not to hyperventilate. Minutes later, I rejoined the party with a smile on my face. There was no time to not be fine.’
“My clean house said I was fine. My well-dressed kids said I was fine. In reality, I couldn’t properly form sentences and my stomach was swelling from the medication.”
‘He introduced me to his parents as ‘the woman he wants to marry.’ Our marriage shocked them. When I held our baby girl in my arms, skin to skin, everything was perfect. Until it wasn’t.’
“He wanted to bid on me but didn’t have enough money at the time. He couldn’t go home with regret. He walked over to me.”
‘You wonder, ‘Do they even know my name?’ All the nurses direct their attention to mom. Not one person notices your eyes swell with tears. You, too, are broken. I see you.’
“Your child enters this world silent and fragile. You allow your child’s mom to hold your precious little one first, but your hands shake with anticipation to hold the child you both created. You stand tall next to the woman you love, while inside, you are broken.”
‘My husband was my rock. But he was secretly falling apart as well. I thought it was because he never mourned our baby girl. He had been having an affair.’
“Not only had he been having an affair, but he ‘loved’ this other woman. We were approached about a pregnant woman looking for an adoptive family for her baby. I begged. My husband had a vasectomy and we paid an absurd amount of money to get it reversed. Chances were slim.”
