“Her entire demeanor changed. The pause felt like an eternity. There could be two ends to this. My hand flew to my mouth as a gasp of air escaped and a sob caught in my throat. Stunned.”
‘She said, ‘That’s them. That’s my son’s parents. That’s who I’ve been looking for.’ And then, I told her you were pregnant.’
‘My birth control failed. I wasn’t ready to be a mother. 40 years later, I crashed into a man at the supermarket. ‘Do I know you?’ My heart dropped.’
“He extended his arm, smiling. ‘Nice to meet you. I’m Timothy.’ It was a split-second interaction, but one I’ll never forget. ‘This going to sound weird, but I feel like I know you. Were you adopted?'”
‘During a regular, boring trip to the grocery store at 26-weeks pregnant, I went into labor. We rushed to the hospital. The NICU doctor had to ‘speak with us.’ My heart broke all over again.’
“At first, my little ‘hobby’ was an outlet – a very private and personal one. We had recently endured the sudden loss of our son. It was noticed by friends – and friends of friends. I quickly realized there were so many mamas that understood.”
‘I blacked out and collapsed. ‘We’re taking your baby,’ I heard someone say. I woke up not knowing where I was. I tried to tell them I was in pain, but couldn’t talk.’
“I saw nurses running back and forth. My parents waited for the helicopter to land. ‘They have to do surgery right now or she’ll die.’ My husband pulled over, went behind a building, and cried. ‘How am I going to raise 4 kids alone?!’ My oldest son was too scared to touch me. ‘I’m scared I’m going to hurt you, mama.’”
‘My husband called. I knew something was up. ‘She delivered a baby last night.’ I shook. I cried. He wouldn’t be the only brown face in our family.’
“A week later I received an email. I thought, ‘Leave me alone! I have a brand new baby I wasn’t expecting! Just give me a chance!’ When I clicked on the email, it wasn’t them reminding me to do my update. It was their birth mother.”
‘We got pregnant before marriage. I was told, ‘Your marriage is going to fail.’ I felt hopeless. I told my husband, ‘I just can’t continue anymore.’
“I felt like I was not giving my children the life they should have. In that moment, I felt trapped. So, my husband went into our bedroom and found the loose change that he had been collecting for a few years.”
‘You have a 2% chance.’ My husband and I sat on the exam table, crying uncontrollably. I believed I wasn’t good enough to be a mother. I was bitter. ‘WHY is everyone else getting pregnant?’
“Our world crumbled beneath us. ‘Why is my body not working?’ I thought I didn’t deserve to have a baby or experience motherhood. I didn’t know when or how, but I still had faith it would happen. I felt it deep within my soul.”
‘They are ours forever,’ I told my husband as tears ran down my face. ‘We have twins. They’ve been moved due to limited beds.’ I read that text a million times. Our day had finally come.’
“I told my student I had to talk to his dad about his behavior. He turned around. ‘He is not my dad, he is my case worker. I don’t have a mom or dad. I am in foster care.’ I was shocked and speechless. I wanted to wrap my arms around him. During dinner, I had a conversation with my husband.”
‘My son woke from his coma. ‘Dad’s in heaven. I saw him there.’ I was startled. ‘Mom, I saw your other 2 kids, too.’ He was an only child. I knew what he was taking about, but how did he know?’
“In the blink of an eye, my life changed. One second. One stoplight. There were no sirens, no warning signs. I remember saying, ‘Please heal my son and let him live.’ He was mad at me. ‘Why did you pray for me, mom? I wish I could’ve stayed with dad.’ My heart broke.”
‘Let’s check on those babies just for fun!’ When he got the twins on the monitor, he was dead silent. My stomach dropped. Then my phone started to vibrate.’
“‘Mrs. Filcik, we got the results.’ I was on the floor in the middle of the hallway with tears running down my cheeks. The doctor asked, ‘Mrs. Filcik, are you OK?’ I managed to say, ‘Yes, I will be. Thank you for calling,’ before hanging up.”