“OMG YOU GUYS. I notice that EVERY. SINGLE. CAR. THERE is either some sort of hot rod muscle car. I spent the next ten minutes until the ‘parade’ started avoiding eye contact with anyone, plotting my escape.”
‘A friend shared an event post for a ‘car cruise.’ ‘Everyone is welcome.’ I didn’t have the heart to tell them they weren’t going to be in a parade after all.’: Mom hilariously takes kids to classic car parade by mistake, ‘One of these cars doesn’t belong’
‘Today I’m going to grill our favorite foods and make s’mores!’ The next day: ‘Go fix your own food. I’m not moving off this couch all day.’: Mom of 4 shares hilarious reality of quarantine
“It’s either, ‘Come sit in Momma’s lap and let’s read a book!’ or ‘Please don’t touch me. I feel claustrophobic.’ I’m probably the most bipolar stay-at-home mom right now. Poor kids never know which Momma they’re gonna get!”
‘Today I ran out of toilet paper. The dreaded day finally happened. I wobbled in, cheeks clenched, to find a barren brown tube.’: Mom shares hilarious story after running out of toilet paper, ‘Let’s find humor in the chaos’
“I scream for my husband, ‘DAVE. HELP!!! THERE’S NO MORE TOILET PAPER.’ He shoves in a random t-shirt from my drawer and a plastic trash bag. So, there I was. Going liquid. No TP. No time to prepare.”
‘Today I received disappointing news. As a wife and mother I dropped the ball, and I failed.’: Woman says ‘our mental health is just as important as our physical health’ after friends’ act of kindness
“My husband works long hours at our local hospital. I haven’t seen another human being besides my stir-crazy toddlers in a long time. Before I knew it, I had comfort food, a bottle of wine, and two very missed faces on my lawn. They only stayed a few minutes and well over 6 feet away, but those few minutes gave me what I desperately needed to continue moving forward.”
‘Today I got called a boring mother, a crappy mother, a wonderful mother and that I was so much fun. All in a matter of hours.’: Mom urges ‘the last thing you need right now is guilt’
“If they spend their days on iPads while you gather your thoughts, it’s okay. If you wanna sit in your pajamas, eat brownies, and watch Frozen 2 on repeat all day, that’s OKAY. If the house looks like a bomb site, who gives a crap. Really. No one is going to visit you anyway.”
‘In the middle of the night, I heard our bedroom door creak open. I froze. It didn’t make a sound, but it silently drifted closer.’: Woman shares hilariously terrifying mom fail
“I figured it was my son Lennox, but it was pitch-black. I blinked away the sleep so I could help him up into our bed. In the doorway was a set of terrifying glowing eyes and mouth hovering a foot or so above the ground. ‘Lord, it’s Angela. If you’ve got any of that white light lying around, would you mind sprinkling some around my bed?’ I was completely freaking out.”
‘Momma, something funny happened.’ He starts rolling up his pant legs and pulls out my THONG.’: Woman shares hilarious mom fail, ‘I had to catch my breath’
“Whenever I pick up my son from school, instead of asking, ‘How was your day?’ I always ask, ‘What made you laugh today?’ Well, OH.MY.GOSH. today was interesting.”
‘You didn’t pay your bill for 3 months.’ No need to rub it in, electric company lady. ‘I have a baby up in here!’ I lied.’: Widow hilariously recalls why she forgot to pay the electric bill, lies to cover her tracks
“The lights went off. I was sure I’d see the whole neighborhood dark – it couldn’t just be MY house. I had a $1,500 credit on my electric bill after my husband died. I saw my neighbor’s Christmas display up and running, complete with a tiny robotic carolers singing, ‘Joy to the World,’ while my blow-up Santa lay lifeless in the front yard. ‘Can you just send the technician back?’ She was NOT having it.”
‘Y’all, I was too embarrassed to go to the car wash. ‘Everyone pick up their stuff.’ I just wasn’t willing to listen to my husband.’: Mom shares hilarious car wash fail
“Basically, my car was too dirty to go to a car wash. I chose the vacuums as far away from other people as humanly possible, sure no one would notice the avalanche of crap about to fall out of my passenger side door. I was so very wrong. Up pulled a man in a light blue, flawless car.”
‘All I heard was ‘buzz.’ I start whispering, ’Oh no, oh no, oh no!’ I was missing HALF my eyebrow.’: Woman hilariously recalls drastic eyebrow trimming fail, ‘It was down to the stubs!’
“Four words for you – ‘As seen on TV.’ I have had this dang brow trimmer boxed in my bathroom cupboard for over 2 years now. I came home the other night and my husband had it all unboxed, using it on his mustache. ‘What the heck?! Why haven’t you ever opened this? It’s awesome!’ I laughed. ‘Well, at least someone is using it.’ The next morning, I see it sitting in the corner and thought, ‘What the heck!’ Oh boy, was I wrong.”
