“‘Great idea, hon. Let him eat on the filthy restaurant floor!’ A woman at the table behind us turned around in her seat. She was definitely preparing to make some commentary, and my stomach dropped a little. But then she smiled.”
’Frankly, I was about to pull a Jesus at the Marketplace and send tables flying. Parents, we have to LOWER OUR STANDARDS.’: Mom shares act of ‘grace’ while out with family, urges ‘pay it forward’
‘Does it REALLY matter if she wears the d*mn earmuffs to school? NO, obviously not.’: Mom urges acceptance of quirks in kids, ‘One day I’ll miss these moments’
“Leopard earmuffs, too big. Take them away and distract with a princess poppy doll. That’s when I see it. A kid walking into school with a mask on.”
‘Right—THERE! MOMMY! NO! A CAR JUST SQUASHED IT!’ I pumped the brakes, started directing traffic. I was hyperventilating.’: Hero mom saves lizard
“‘Sir, can you take it to a hospital?’ He pulled his truck past me and tipped his hat. ‘Hail nawl, little lady. That thang is all on you.’ Pretty soon I was standing alone, next to my car, with a half-dead thing in a shoe box that was IN MY HANDS. I was hyperventilating. This was not okay.”
‘A friend shared an event post for a ‘car cruise.’ ‘Everyone is welcome.’ I didn’t have the heart to tell them they weren’t going to be in a parade after all.’: Mom hilariously takes kids to classic car parade by mistake, ‘One of these cars doesn’t belong’
“OMG YOU GUYS. I notice that EVERY. SINGLE. CAR. THERE is either some sort of hot rod muscle car. I spent the next ten minutes until the ‘parade’ started avoiding eye contact with anyone, plotting my escape.”
‘Today I’m going to grill our favorite foods and make s’mores!’ The next day: ‘Go fix your own food. I’m not moving off this couch all day.’: Mom of 4 shares hilarious reality of quarantine
“It’s either, ‘Come sit in Momma’s lap and let’s read a book!’ or ‘Please don’t touch me. I feel claustrophobic.’ I’m probably the most bipolar stay-at-home mom right now. Poor kids never know which Momma they’re gonna get!”
‘Today I ran out of toilet paper. The dreaded day finally happened. I wobbled in, cheeks clenched, to find a barren brown tube.’: Mom shares hilarious story after running out of toilet paper, ‘Let’s find humor in the chaos’
“I scream for my husband, ‘DAVE. HELP!!! THERE’S NO MORE TOILET PAPER.’ He shoves in a random t-shirt from my drawer and a plastic trash bag. So, there I was. Going liquid. No TP. No time to prepare.”
‘Today I received disappointing news. As a wife and mother I dropped the ball, and I failed.’: Woman says ‘our mental health is just as important as our physical health’ after friends’ act of kindness
“My husband works long hours at our local hospital. I haven’t seen another human being besides my stir-crazy toddlers in a long time. Before I knew it, I had comfort food, a bottle of wine, and two very missed faces on my lawn. They only stayed a few minutes and well over 6 feet away, but those few minutes gave me what I desperately needed to continue moving forward.”
‘Today I got called a boring mother, a crappy mother, a wonderful mother and that I was so much fun. All in a matter of hours.’: Mom urges ‘the last thing you need right now is guilt’
“If they spend their days on iPads while you gather your thoughts, it’s okay. If you wanna sit in your pajamas, eat brownies, and watch Frozen 2 on repeat all day, that’s OKAY. If the house looks like a bomb site, who gives a crap. Really. No one is going to visit you anyway.”
‘In the middle of the night, I heard our bedroom door creak open. I froze. It didn’t make a sound, but it silently drifted closer.’: Woman shares hilariously terrifying mom fail
“I figured it was my son Lennox, but it was pitch-black. I blinked away the sleep so I could help him up into our bed. In the doorway was a set of terrifying glowing eyes and mouth hovering a foot or so above the ground. ‘Lord, it’s Angela. If you’ve got any of that white light lying around, would you mind sprinkling some around my bed?’ I was completely freaking out.”
‘Momma, something funny happened.’ He starts rolling up his pant legs and pulls out my THONG.’: Woman shares hilarious mom fail, ‘I had to catch my breath’
“Whenever I pick up my son from school, instead of asking, ‘How was your day?’ I always ask, ‘What made you laugh today?’ Well, OH.MY.GOSH. today was interesting.”
