momstrosity

‘Elf on the Shelf is a HARD NO for me — Here’s why.’

“Feeling exhausted after a long day of, I don’t know, being a parent? Is your only desire to drain a glass of chardonnay and sleep after working 8 hours and doing 4 loads of laundry? TOO BAD, MOM! WINKSY NEEDS A NEW, CLEVER HIDING SPOT!”

‘Turns out, some people HATE a man in a dress.’

“My husband makes a hideous woman. My kids thought it was hilarious that daddy had boobies and a big wig. It didn’t take long before I realized my husband dressed-up as the bearded lady was not as charming to others as I thought it was. I was shocked.”

‘My closest friends decided to leave me forever. My core group was gone. My heart was broken. New friends? It is terrifying to put yourself out there. Girls can be mean. Women can be vicious.’

“I can prepare and clean my house for 3 hours the 1st few times you come for a visit. But I can only pretend it is usually this clean for so long before you find out the truth. One day you will stop in because you forgot your sweater, and you will see the underwear one of my boys flung on the couch and the dinner dishes piled up from last night.”

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