natural birth

First time mom snuggles her sleeping newborn son during a photoshoot

‘Am I going to throw up? Surprise! It’s s—t. There’s diarrhea all over. My husband is helping me with my hospital gown while simultaneously WIPING MY ASS.’: Mom hilariously recounts precipitous labor experience

“Doctor finally comes. ‘I NEED DRUGS! WHERE IS THE EPIDURAL MAN? TELL HIM I NEED HIM.’ I am screaming, begging, pleading. The doctor smiles at me while the nurses put an IV in my arm. They tell me they need to check to make sure my water broke. I spread my legs and they can already see my baby’s head. 7 centimeters dilated. F–k…me.”

‘I’ve written him a prescription for 10 narcotics.’ HOLD UP A MINUTE! A vasectomy is more painful than pushing out an 8-pound baby?’: Wife given ibuprofen after childbirth infuriated by husband’s special treatment at same hospital

“This baby was 2 pounds heavier than my others. My hemorrhoids were raging. ‘Your only option is ibuprofen,’ the nurse explained. Huh? I was told they’ve done away with narcotics after birth and only C-section patients are allowed to have stronger medication. A month later, my husband went in for his vasectomy. His procedure was at the exact same hospital I’d just given birth in. I about fell out of my chair!”

‘Don’t say, ‘When can I see the baby?’ Say, ‘Let me know when you’re ready for visitors.’: Post-labor mom reminds us ‘there is nothing more vulnerable than a freshly postpartum momma’

“Truth is, she’s labored NAKED in front of an audience of nurses and doctors. She’s had eyes and hands all over her lady bits. ⁣She literally just expelled another human being from her body through her vagina or from being cut open. She carried this little being for 9 long months and probably isn’t eager to have others just come in and sweep him/her away as soon as they take their first breath. If you are a friend or family member of a new mom, don’t just EXPECT to pop in at YOUR convenience.”

‘WHAT IS THAT?’ Our baby girl had something interesting between her legs. ‘IS THIS A BOY?!’ My husband fell to the floor. ‘We have a SON!’: Parents are surprised after birth, ‘I couldn’t believe it!’

“‘Um, BABE…’ was all I could say. He texted me, ‘I just tested positive for the flu.’ I thought, ‘SERIOUSLY?! I’m 2 days overdue with baby #3 and sick as can be, and my husband has 2 strains of the flu?!’ GREAT. ‘This is it! We have to drive on black ice in a snowstorm to have this baby.’”

‘Immediately, I knew there was something different. Her precious little body felt weak and floppy. Looking at her tiny face, I saw it.’: Blended family births 11th baby with Down syndrome

“When I found myself unexpectedly widowed at 39, I couldn’t have imagined what my life would look like 5 years later. We met on a dating site. Blending our families and accommodating the needs of 10 children was a complicated task. Then we heard, ‘I’m so sorry,’ which prompted more tears. It was my job as her mother to be strong and brave, but I doubted my ability to do so.”

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