near death

‘What did I do wrong to cause this sweet blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy to suffer like this?’ He woke up so smiley that morning. My husband and I were silent. ‘It’s time,’ the team said. The doors shut behind him.’

“Ten minutes went by…then 30 …then 45. I was in a total panic. Instead of the screen showing he was waking up from anesthesia, it said he was still in the O.R. There was a look of concern in his surgeon’s eyes. ‘For some reason, half of his skull expanded faster than the other.'”

‘Lathered in sunscreen, poolside, I suddenly realized my son wasn’t with me. My eyes hit the shallow end. I spotted a toddler completely submerged in water. The world stopped. I plunged in.’

“I was not the mother to make this kind of error. The mother who looked away. ‘If he’s alive, he’d be kicking, fighting.’ Why wasn’t he fighting? I pulled him onto the cement and thrusted my hand against his back. Fingernails pink, skin pale, lips discolored. His white knuckles gripped my neck. ‘ANDREW. Andrew, please come back to me.'”

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