“Spouses, ask how she’s feeling. Her entire body just stretched and morphed to share it with another human being. Do you know how absolutely bonkers a woman’s hormones are during pregnancy and after delivery? Becoming a mom for the 1st, 2nd, or even 5th time changes you, forever. Clap for new moms. Your words matter. We need them to be positive.”
‘It’s been 2 weeks. When will your belly go down?’ ‘When will you stop being moody?’ She is not herself. She probably never will be.’: Mom urges us to ‘rally behind’ women post-labor
‘Sometimes, you just end up with the kid that doesn’t sleep. Can we stop telling parents to FIX this?: Mom encourages us to ‘praise’ parents, ‘we are doing the best darn job we can’
“I was that mom, too. With the busy fingers. Googling all the things wrong with my child because he would. not. sleep. Everyone and their mom told me something was WRONG with him. So, I OBSESSED. Don’t co-sleep. Co-sleep. Don’t sleep train. Sleep train. No night feed. Night feed. Oh holy night, guys. ENOUGH. We don’t need a dependent little munchkin that will roll into med school with a binkie and a lovey. Some. Babies. Don’t. Sleep.”
‘It’ll just be a quick visit!’ It’s not your right to visit a new baby, it’s a privilege.’: New mom urges us to give women space post-birth, ‘labor is the most painful, mind-blowing experience’
“Your vagina and stomach are in a world of pain. More often than not, there’s been a cut somewhere. You struggle to get comfortable in that hard hospital bed. You can barely sit, stand, lie down, or walk. A picture really is worth 1,000 words. This is me, roughly 24 hours after giving birth. I have no idea who took the picture, but you can tell how I feel just by looking at it.”
‘Where did you get these?’ I knew. ‘Ren’s nursery.’ He didn’t realize how serious I was. ‘Put them back.’: Wife unexpectedly triggered by husband’s attempt at act of kindness, ‘It was all downhill from there’
“We ran out of toilet paper and Tommy was supposed to go to the store. Irritated, I asked him to get me something to use. Maybe a paper towel? He finally walks in holding a pack of wipes. They were a very specific kind, Huggies all-natural wipes. I started tearing up. ‘Put them back, please.’ He laughed and insisted I used them. He didn’t realize how serious I was until I started bawling. Something in his room was now out of place.”
‘You’re so lucky to have the opportunity to be at home.’ So, I shut my mouth.’: Overwhelmed mom urges others ‘Don’t be quiet’ when feeling depressed, hurt, isolated
“No one mentions that you disappear into your own walls. A part of the furniture. Like an old armchair that’s jumped on all day and the last thing you want to do is talk to someone or be touched. We have to be grateful, so we shut our mouths. I’m in silence listening to others say, ‘I never felt like that, I loved it.’ Sinking deeper into our guilt.”
‘How are you?’ a friend emailed. It’s 2 weeks old. I’m parenting young kids, and I suck at being a friend.’: New mom acknowledges parenting has hurt her relationships, ‘this stage doesn’t last forever’
“I stare at a picture of smiling faces. We look happy, relaxed. ‘Remember this day? So much fun!’ she wrote. We were connected then. An unbreakable bond of friendship. Now, we only talk every few months in emails like this, often forgotten by me. I feel guilt wash over me. I’m knee-deep in parenting. I’ve changed.”
‘You can bring your newborn to class,’ my Dean emails me. I was relieved, but afraid. Will he cry all the time?’: Mom takes newborn to law school classes, does ‘everything in my power’ to give children ‘opportunity to be successful’
“On the last trimester of my pregnancy, I talked with the Dean. ‘I don’t have any support system near me, my husband works full time and takes night courses. I’m supposed to graduate next year. I don’t want to fall behind.’ She looked me in the eyes and said, ‘Tell me who your professors are next semester. I will talk with them personally.’”
‘Are you breastfeeding???’ That’s the face of a well-fed baby. Does it matter? NO.’: Mom insists how we feed our babies ‘is not anyone’s business’
“Since when it this OK to ask? Our baby started getting fussy. I reached to grab a bottle, but wondered if strangers would judge me for not feeding her the boob. For the record, I was formula fed as a baby…and I turned out just fine.”
‘How can I smile when Justin is dead? How can I ever smile again?’: Mom feels immense ‘guilt’ for enjoying newborn son after husband’s sudden death by ‘stray bullet’
“I remember the exact moment I first smiled again after Justin died. I’d cried so much, I was caught off guard when it happened. I was a new mom. Instead of celebrating a life, I was mourning one. Days after our son was born, he was killed by a stray bullet. My friend was next to me, ‘Honey, it’s okay to smile at your baby.’ I protested. But then I realized, ‘OH MY GOD, I’M MISSING OUT ON MY BABY!’”
‘I used to bring my daughter to the office before we had childcare. She was only 8 WEEKS OLD!’: Mom ‘privileged’ to have employer who ‘allowed, encouraged’ her to bring newborn into work after maternity leave
“I second guessed returning to work after my maternity leave ended. Would it be worth it? But I had to go back. I finally expressed my anxiety to my manager. Her first response? ‘Just bring her with you when you come back! We can have an office baby!’ It was unbelievable. She can’t be serious! But she and everyone else in the office were so excited and supportive and ready for Baby P to join the team!”
