“My doctor told the story of another mom’s heartache to scare me into doing what she wanted me to do. Why was she pushing termination on me SO hard? And why the heck was she calling to tell me over the phone?! Not ONCE did she apologize or say, ‘I’m so sorry.’ Instead, she told me how to parent.”
‘There are concerns in the ultrasound.’ My doctor used scare tactics to push me into terminating my baby. I tried not to break down.’ Mom fights back after being pressured to abort baby with brain defects
‘I’m sorry. The adoption is over.’ He was being placed in foster care. I had this feeling, this wasn’t the end.’: Couple hikes the globe with kids after nearly failed adoption of ‘beautiful little boy’
“‘A lot has happened over the weekend. The birth mom had her baby on Friday night,’ the caseworker said. ‘Do you still want to go through with the adoption since he was born premature?’ That question absolutely baffled me. This baby boy was being placed in the foster care system.”
‘After I delivered, my doctor handed me my girl. I did not see it. In all of my medical training, I could not tell. She was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. She was PERFECT.’
“I am a Southern girl and a doctor and I’m used to having it all together. I turned everyone away from the hospital that day, including my sister. I thought I had ruined our lives. I thought I had done something so terrible my husband and child were being punished.”
‘As I lay on the operating table, I heard the ONE word I dreaded. They wrapped him up, brought him over. I began to sob. ‘How can my heart be rejoicing and breaking at the same time?!’
“The room began spinning. I was thrilled to have my baby but terrified by the words used to describe him. Unlike his older brother’s birth, not one person came to see him. No flowers were delivered. No one knew what to say, so they said nothing. On that day, my life became defined by two words. Before and after.”
‘The checkout lady saw my cart. ‘Oh wow! Did you get too many things on your registry?’ Tears poured down my face. ‘No, two of my children died,’ I said. ‘I don’t need these anymore.’
“In addition to planning two funerals, my husband and I were left with a room full of baby items. Three boppy pillows, three bouncers, enough diapers for three little babies. I waited in line to return it all. The grief took a hold of me.”
‘When he turned a year old, he couldn’t sit up. He didn’t play with toys. He was essentially a newborn. He kept his left hand clenched, and his entire left side was tight.’
“I’ll never forget the words he said. ‘Knowing what his brain looks like, I can’t believe he is talking like this.’ I went to my car and cried. I cried tears of joy and tears of relief. And if I’m being honest, a few tears of fear. By early May, it was confirmed.”
‘The day my baby died, I won tickets to build her a bear. ‘Can I still use them even though she passed?’ Their response? ‘No. The guest must be present.’ My heart shattered in a million pieces.’
“It felt like the perfect thing to do in order to honor and remember her. All I wanted was my baby back. I wanted to be like all the other moms who get to cuddle and snuggle their baby after they are born. A simple no would’ve been okay, but their words felt like a stab to the heart.”
‘I heard her in the hall, talking about the ‘awful day’ she was having, and all the’ rough news’ she was having to break to families. When she entered, everything changed.’
“‘Can my day just be done?,’ I heard her say. She then said a word that took me by surprise, and scared me: ‘Abort.’”
‘To the parents of Abigail.’ I was shuffling through the junk mail, before tossing it in the trash. But the last letter left me frozen. My heart began racing. I gasped as I read the name.’
“As I stared at the letter, my hand started shaking. I found myself holding my breath, paralyzed by the shock of the unexpected. Seeing her name in writing after so many years caught me off guard.”
‘She ran her hand across his sweet face. ‘No eyebrows and eyelashes,’ she said. I hadn’t noticed his lack of hair until that moment. Nor any other ‘abnormalities.’ Fear consumed my mind.’
“The nurse came to get us and took us to a different room. The doctor then came in with news that quickly turned our cloud 9 experience of joy and excitement to fear. There was a concern.”
