NICU

‘As I lay on the operating table, I heard the ONE word I dreaded. They wrapped him up, brought him over. I began to sob. ‘How can my heart be rejoicing and breaking at the same time?!’

“The room began spinning. I was thrilled to have my baby but terrified by the words used to describe him. Unlike his older brother’s birth, not one person came to see him. No flowers were delivered. No one knew what to say, so they said nothing. On that day, my life became defined by two words. Before and after.”

‘The day my baby died, I won tickets to build her a bear. ‘Can I still use them even though she passed?’ Their response? ‘No. The guest must be present.’ My heart shattered in a million pieces.’

“It felt like the perfect thing to do in order to honor and remember her. All I wanted was my baby back. I wanted to be like all the other moms who get to cuddle and snuggle their baby after they are born. A simple no would’ve been okay, but their words felt like a stab to the heart.”

‘No eyebrows and eyelashes,’ she said. I hadn’t noticed his lack of hair. She ran her hand across his sweet face. There was a concern.’: Mom learns of son’s rare CFC syndrome disorder, but keeps ‘pushing forward’

“Our midwife came in and hugged me. ‘How are y’all doing?,’ she asked. It was all too much. What did she mean by ‘abnormalities?’ I stopped her and asked. That’s when the rest of the conversation disappeared from my memory. I would NEVER let this define Nolan.”

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