“Waiting for Riley to ‘tell’ me he loves me. Waiting for him to say mommy. Waiting for him to speak. How I wished I could get a moment in his head. When in reality what I really needed to do is take a step back and see was he showed me love in ways that don’t need words.”
‘Riley is now 6 years old. He still does not speak. I always thought words were what mattered.’: Mom to son with autism says ‘I was lucky to be in his world, I just didn’t know it yet’
‘She’s very vocal….’ A woman in Walmart made me cry over a comment she made about my toddler. The shame crashed down all over me.’: Mom feels guilt for misjudging stranger after noticing her comment about her daughter
“We get into the store and she continued to be her loud toddler self. I could see a woman glance over at my daughter and I a few times. I practically roll my eyes and make eye contact with the lady that had been glancing at us. ‘Crap!’, my brain screamed.”
‘They are the hardest. I don’t expect you to understand. I’ll never hear my boys say, ‘I love you.’: Mom of 2 sons with autism says they are ‘so much more’ than their diagnosis
“To say I am jealous is an understatement. I’m not ashamed to admit it. I am extremely jealous. It’s just not fair. The going to see Santa Claus, throwing birthday parties – it all stings. Hearing what cool new toy they added to their Christmas list to Santa. My children have never cared about any of that.”
‘Toddlers, huh?’ ‘You’ll miss these days.’ I smile back. They mean well.’: Mom of autistic son explains ‘this isn’t a tantrum, this is stimming’
“‘She will be good for him,’ she motioned towards my newborn. What? I live in a new city, knowing hardly anyone other than my husband, and now I suddenly have an autistic son and newborn daughter? I looked at my sweet Finley, his precious little face, and cried because of how I thought the world would see him.”
‘You made the nice list!’ The words that made everything OK again. He gave him a certificate with his name on it.’: Non-verbal boy with Autism surprised by sensory friendly Santa at home
“Riley was diagnosed with Autism when he was 2-years-old. He is non-verbal and has a lot of sensory issues. He doesn’t like loud noises, or bright lights, but what he does love is Christmas. Since he cannot speak, Riley has learned to sign ‘Riley is good’ and for the last few weeks has been telling everyone he meets he is a good boy. Santa showed up at his house to tell Riley he would go through the naughty and nice list with him.”
‘Will you excuse me?’ The cake smash was ready. Except, I was in my closet, crying uncontrollably.’: Mom breaks down at daughter’s first birthday party, discovers Cri Du Chat diagnosis
“This was her first birthday party. We had over 30 guests waiting downstairs to celebrate her. I couldn’t go down. I only had one thought: ‘This day is a celebration of everything she can’t do.’ In my closet, I huddled in a ball, trying to find my brave face. We were already 3 months into speech and physical therapy. We’d seen all 3 specialists and were no closer to an answer.”
‘You’re pregnant. It’s a girl. There’s something wrong. We don’t know if she’ll ever speak.’: Daughter diagnosed with rare Cri Du Chat, meaning ‘Cry of the Cat’
“Each day, we wait and wonder. Will there be a new word? Does she understand ours? Being a mother and knowing how to speak to your child that cannot speak. When they create the word for that – let me know.”
‘He wasn’t walking or talking. I chalked it up to an overactive sister who adored getting everything for him. The pediatrician agreed, so I left.’: After autism diagnosis, Mom ‘mourns the loss of a son I never had, but will never stop fighting’
“I left the office with a smile on my face. I brought my son back to the car and teared up as I put him in. I refused to cry in front of him. I couldn’t show him I was scared. ‘Autism.’ As soon as they said it, my breath caught. I acted cool and collected. I acted like it was all to be expected. I acted. For everyone else’s benefit.”
‘As a mom, you just KNOW. Something didn’t feel right. Cars zipped by on the busy street. I trembled as we made our way to the front of the building. We were only a few steps away. I wanted to run, but I didn’t.’
“I wish I could’ve jumped into one of those passing cars and pretended it never happened. That I hitchhiked, ran away, disappeared. I thought we could find someone to ‘fix’ my son. As the woman in the office spoke, I couldn’t take my eyes off her mouth. I knew the word that would come. I didn’t believe her.”
‘Then the rocking started. It began as a gentle sway and turned into him throwing himself so hard into the couch he was putting holes in the wall. We knew something was not right.’
“The doctor stopped what she was doing, scooted back from her desk and looked me dead in the eye. ‘I am confident I know why your son is having so many issues. I also believe he is having a seizure right now.'”
