“Seeing my sweet baby girl laying in a huge bed, much too big for her, made me fall to my knees. A nurse said to me, ‘Get off the floor, it’s so dirty.’ I was angry at her, I was angry at the hospital chaplain placing his eerie hand on my shoulder with no real comfort. No parent should have to write their child’s eulogy, or decide between a casket or an urn. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing.”
‘Mom she’s gone, I just know.’ I sat on my stairs with my front door open, in shock.’: How this ‘broken’ mother helps other parents of child loss heal after her own tragedy
‘He’s not breathing!’ His entire arm was jerking. What was going on?! ‘He was just screaming! How could he not be breathing?’ Then my phone rang.’
“He was admitted to the hospital ‘just to do some routine stuff’ since he was young for such a high fever. I didn’t love the idea, but I was willing to do whatever was needed. Then something unexpected happened. Trevor started screaming. The nurse reached for the ‘Code Blue’ button on the wall.”
‘I took a call of a baby not breathing. It’s the dreaded call. I heard the baby crying. It was short lived. I hung my head and tried to clear the lump from my throat.’
“What I didn’t expect was a visit from the fire crew that was on scene and who, like true heroes, tried to save that baby’s life. They came in together, stood before me and asked if we could all share a hug.”
‘She deserves to know she has a guardian angel watching over her. Our family was concerned I got pregnant too quickly after such a tragic passing, but she was everything we needed.’
“I couldn’t stop screaming and yelling his name, begging him to wake up. I felt guilt knowing I didn’t breastfeed him. I have panic attacks, a lot, over what should be minor things.”
‘Why God? She’s innocent. She’s only 6 months old!’ Thoughts of guilt flooded my mind. How could I possibly want to bring another child into this world so soon after losing my daughter?
“I wish I never had gone home. Around 2 a.m. we received a call from the hospital. I knew something was terribly wrong.”
‘My baby had undiagnosed Type 1 Diabetes. Her blood sugar level was in the 500s. How could she have died from a disease thousands of people manage? I could not comprehend.’
“When I got to the babysitter’s, she carried her to my car; my daughter was completely knocked out. In an offhanded way I asked if she was breathing, joking. Until I put my hand on her little chest and felt no movement.”
‘He stopped breathing. His body went limp in my arms’: Mom of son with Down syndrome declares ‘CPR should be MANDATORY for parents to learn’
“He started to turn blue. I remember his big eyes staring up at me – they were like an endless pit of blackness. He was scared, and I couldn’t do anything to help.”
Heartbreaking account of ‘perfect’ rainbow baby’s suspected sudden infant death syndrome
“Our world came crashing down around us. I saw him pale and staring at the ceiling blankly. I grabbed him and there was no reaction from him.”
