ocd

‘How do you feel?’ I said, ‘Shocked.’ But the relief I felt was unreal. Tears streamed down my face.’: Woman diagnosed with autism at 30, ‘Autism is not something I have. It’s who I am.’

“As my phone began to ring, I noticed there was no caller ID. My heart skipped a beat, my throat tightened, and I froze. I knew this was it. Why were they calling now? This was not a good time. My report was ready. I felt the blood rush to my head. I was walking through a busy street. Tears streamed down my face. I had waited for forever. Why had we not seen it for so many years? I was 30 years old – so much of my life had been a lie.”

‘Gabrielle, look at me.’ I burst into tears and told her I was struggling. ‘That’s it. I’m coming over. I’m taking the baby. You are going to eat and shower!’: Overwhelmed new mom thankful to friend for ‘showing the hell up’

“She could see I was avoiding eye contact. She showed up to my house, took my baby. I stood there, staring at her and my baby. Like, ‘What do I do now?’ She looked at me and said, ‘We are fine! GO TAKE A SHOWER. I know what I’m doing!’ Sometimes the kind of love I need is this.”

‘This is clearly a case of anorexia. You’re a teenage ballerina refusing food.’: Woman with MALS is misdiagnosed for 20 years, ‘I was now convinced. They were doctors. They had to be right, right?’

“For as long as I can remember, I’ve been nauseous. I had lost 40 pounds. I started to find that the harder I worked, the more stamina I lost. The weaker I got. My body would physically swell. Then the horribly loud and embarrassing belching developed. ‘I really don’t think you need these tests. I believe your symptoms are psychosomatic.’ The doctors all told me it was anxiety. It was ‘in my head’ and I needed to ‘push past it and challenge myself.’ I would remain misdiagnosed, dismissed, and passed off, for another full year.”

‘It’s NOT postpartum depression. You aren’t suicidal.’ She said to buy essential oils. I feared the worst.:’ Mom’s postpartum depression dismissed for years, ‘I finally have the right people behind me’

“I smashed the window of our door while holding my child. I knew something wasn’t right. She told me, ‘You should calm down because stress can pass to your breast milk and upset your baby’s stomach.’ I had all these terrifying thoughts of what could happen to him. I said, ‘This is why we lose SO MANY women during the postpartum period. We get ignored.'”

‘I have to get out of here!’ At 10, I looked back to see an old man chasing me. I felt chills up my spine.’: Woman begins healing journey after confronting stalking trauma, ‘I have finally stopped blaming myself’

“Things came to a boiling point. I ran all the way back to my house, flew up the stairs, locked the door, and melted into tears, gasps. The police didn’t help. ‘He hasn’t hurt her yet. We can’t do anything.’ He hadn’t hurt me YET. Imagine my 10-year-old brain trying to process this. How could I feel safe? All of my innocence, comfort went out the window. Every morning, he gazed at me from my bus stop.”

‘I hate you! I want a different mom!’ He is getting bigger, I have to physically restrain him.’: Mom says son’s childhood has been ‘violently stolen’ due to PANDAS/PANS diagnosis, ‘It’s sad, unfair, heartbreaking’

“I wrote the single hardest thing: ‘I don’t like being a parent.’ His meltdowns consist of screaming, hitting, throwing, breaking things, slamming doors, spitting, you name it. I have to restrain him. I poured my heart out, frustrated, at my wits end. Then I got a message. ‘I think your son has PANDAS/PANS. Have him tested.’ Then the warning came: Some people don’t believe in this diagnosis.”

‘I struggled with the thought of being in a hit and run. I’d have panic attacks. I was convinced any bump I hit was a person.’: Woman’s emotional battle with OCD, feeling ‘defeated,’ and how she’s calmed her anxieties

“I realized my issues were bigger than I could handle alone. I reached out for help. I found the therapist to be unprofessional and insensitive. I left the session crying and not wanting to go through that again. It’s extremely difficult opening up to a stranger and telling them the most vulnerable experiences you’ve had in your life. I felt defeated and overwhelmed.”

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