“‘Dad says y’all are going to wrap presents.’ Huh? The LAST thing his dad and I are doing back there is wrapping—oh, wait.”
‘Mom, it’s funny to think when I’m a dad, I’ll have to wrap presents at night.’ I gave him a puzzled look. What was he talking about? ‘You know, mom. When you and dad go into your bedroom and close the door.’ OH.’: Mom shares amusing encounter with son
‘I saw something shiny and turned into Sméagol. ‘My precious!’: Wife hilariously recounts lost engagement ring, ‘This ring will come with one heck of a story’
“It was around 8 p.m. when I found myself crying and crawling, mostly crying, on my hands and knees in the middle of a Publix parking lot. I imagined the ring traveling the streets of Miami stuck on a tire thread.”
‘The detective said, ‘I need to speak with you immediately. This is the strangest thing to ever happen at the New Jersey DEA. Come to the precinct at once.’: Mom hilariously recalls Christmas gift gone wrong, ‘The things we do for our kids’
“I tried to get the best Christmas gift for my daughter on Etsy and accidentally became embroiled in an international drug-smuggling ring. The things we do for our kids.”
‘As I was in the bathroom I heard a rustling noise. I figured it was a mouse. As I lifted my eyes to scan, mid-wipe, my eyes met another pair of eyes. IT WASN’T A MOUSE.’: Woman hilariously recounts embarrassing bathroom mishap
“‘HELLO! I’m in here.’ I think he knew I was ‘in’ there. I just don’t think his brain could process what he was seeing. He saw a bodacious woman, full-frontal from the waist down, wiping…her…backside.”
‘OH MAH GAHD SON, don’t touch it! HOW LONG HAVE YOU HAD THIS?’ I’m ready to bleach everything in sight, including my son.’: Mom hilariously recounts Show and Tell gone wrong
“His eyes light up and he goes, ‘OOOOOH! Let me outside, Mommy. I know JUST THE THING!’ Now pause. This is where I tell you for the last three days, I’ve been complaining our porch smells horrible.”
‘He warned us, ‘There is a good possibility of rain.’ He pushed us to move everything indoors. We pushed back. I may have been the bride, but I definitely didn’t look like one.’: Woman says ‘I got the better end of it’ after ruined wedding
“With a guest list of only 75 people, little did I know that this picture would be one of the only pictures where I would look like the bride I dreamed to be.”
‘All I heard was ‘buzz.’ I start whispering, ’Oh no, oh no, oh no!’ I was missing HALF my eyebrow.’: Woman hilariously recalls drastic eyebrow trimming fail, ‘It was down to the stubs!’
“Four words for you – ‘As seen on TV.’ I have had this dang brow trimmer boxed in my bathroom cupboard for over 2 years now. I came home the other night and my husband had it all unboxed, using it on his mustache. ‘What the heck?! Why haven’t you ever opened this? It’s awesome!’ I laughed. ‘Well, at least someone is using it.’ The next morning, I see it sitting in the corner and thought, ‘What the heck!’ Oh boy, was I wrong.”
‘They had 3 people call out. Immediately, I help them unload the truck and was on the floor putting up merchandise. The interview candidate said, ‘Are you having fun stocking those shelves?’
“All of a sudden, my first interview candidate walks in and asked for me. She heard me talking and started laughing. She said, ‘Yeah, you would NEVER SEE ME ON THE FLOOR doing that!”
‘I hear Bon Jovi say, ‘You dropped something! It’s stuck to your foot.’ I turned around. Was it a black handkerchief? No… What was that?’
“I was going to say, ‘It’s not mine!! I have Tonsillitis.’ But who was I kidding? It was the size of a parachute, and it was mine. When I left the house, I grabbed old jeans that I whipped off before a shower yesterday, but had neglected to take my underwear out of.”
‘My 18-year-old sister had JUST announced she was pregnant. My parents were going to DIE. I was too.’: Young woman ‘terrified’ to tell parents of unexpected pregnancy
“We went to the store to get the morning after pill. As we stood in line, pregnancy tests caught my eye. Something kept forcing me to look at them. The longer we stood there, the louder this voice in my head screamed to buy one. I told Tim, ‘Let’s buy a pregnancy test instead.'”
