“My husband’s counts had dropped to almost nothing. Six live sperm were found. Six! No six thousand. Just six. We got a letter in the mail. The yearly fee to keep his sperm frozen was due. It was hundreds of dollars. We had to make a decision about our future– right now. At 26 years old, I VOLUNTARILY had a hysterectomy. Then, we got the call.”
‘Daniel may have trouble fathering children. He had a botched surgery when he was very young. As 18-year-olds, we didn’t grasp the seriousness of his male infertility. Then I realized something was wrong with me, too.’
‘We broke up. Everything was perfect. Until I missed my period. I took two tests to see if I was pregnant. And. I. Was. There was one mountain to climb: Tell my parents.’ Teen mom knows adoptive parents are ‘the one’ as soon as they ‘walked in the door’
“I was close to starting my second trimester and knew I couldn’t go to the doctors without my parents’ knowledge. My brother came home to help me tell my them. They ragged on him for 4 hours about his life choices before I finally pulled the plug. ‘Mom, Dad. I’m pregnant.’ The next week was a daze of my parents trying figure out what to do while I tried to keep food down.”
‘Wow, that’s so cool I have 2 moms! May I have a snack?,’ was his reaction at age 5. ‘Aren’t you worried they’ll take the boys back?’ We are not a bit worried. We told him he grew up in her tummy.’
“And then we met her – this gorgeous strawberry blond young lady with the most beautiful green eyes looking at us from across the table. She had one question for us. Our knees were shaking just getting the news. We were not convinced it would be ‘wonderful’ at all. We were intimidated and scared.”
‘He finished his email with one question. ‘Do you want to meet?’ I was taken aback. I went 17 years knowing absolutely NOTHING about him. ‘Yes,’ I replied. I had a gut-wrenching feeling.’
“When I was in high school, I started getting sick. I needed my full health history. My parents called my birth mom. ‘Can you get in contact with Hannah’s birth father? We need this information.’ I remember sitting in the kitchen watching my adoptive dad call my birth dad. HOLY CRAP!”
‘My birthmother went into labor. Her secret would soon be out. Lying on the floor, she called her sister in pain. ‘What’s wrong?,’ she frantically asked. ‘My baby is coming. I need the hospital.’
“My birthmother graduated 5 months pregnant, lived at home with her parents and even shared a room with her older sister. But still, no one knew about about me. She hid her growing bump. Her parents were on a trip when the drama began. ‘I can’t keep her. She’s not mine.’ she told the nurse.”
‘I found out I was pregnant one month after I turned 19 years old. ‘The second line is faint. You’re very early in your pregnancy,’ the nurse said. I had not even missed a period yet. Utterly shocked.’
“I tried to go on with life pretending nothing was wrong, while keeping this enormous secret, but ultimately couldn’t think about anything else. His birth was bittersweet. I held him, sobbing, as I signed away my rights as his mother.”
‘I don’t have a mother.’ ‘Baby, everyone has a mother.’ ‘When you were born, your birth mother asked if WE could be your daddy and papa!’ She searched for people to love you with all their heart.’
“A few more days went by and we figured we had finished that conversation until she asked the heaviest question of all, ‘Who is my birth mother?’ We looked at each other and quickly changed the subject.”
‘I looked at my mom, tears welling up. ‘Was I adopted?’ She knew this day would happen. She knew I’d want to know. My answer was a few clicks away.’
“I opened an unknown can of worms. Things started swirling in my head. ‘Was I not loved? Am I not worthy? Do I have siblings?’ I started at my computer screen. Same eye shape, same smile. I finally clicked send. Within a half hour, she responded. The pit of my stomach felt so sick.”
‘That wasn’t our baby, and he got to stay with his mama.’ Couple’s failed adoption leads to beautiful open relationship with new birth mom. ‘I never felt a love so strong.’
“She was only four months along, I felt my nerves spike. She and I held hands and laid eyes on that sweet boy together for the first time. We both cried and cried. ‘This is the moment our lives change forever,’ she said. He loves and adores her, but that doesn’t make us any less of his parents.”
‘She could not have been more perfect. When she died unexpectedly 2 months later, I thought my heart stopped with hers.’
“Three months after my love proposed to me, I found a lump. I was told I was ‘lucky’ because I had the ‘good kind’ of cancer. It was a hugely insensitive thing to say. My friends were buying homes, getting promotions, having children – and I’m the ‘lucky’ one?”
