“I asked myself a million times ‘Why me? Why is this happening to me?’ I was in so much pain and my stay in the hospital felt never ending. It was a difficult mental space to get out of.”
‘The doctors were so shocked by what they saw in the first scan, they ordered another to ensure a mistake hadn’t been made. He told me he had never seen anything like it before.’
‘She’s just a nervous child.’ The words still burn. I was 13, about to start high school. But I was different. My life was consumed with excruciating pain, diarrhea, and the toilet.’
“I was standing in the kitchen alone. My phone rang. Assuming it was my husband, I answered. But it wasn’t my husband. All I could do was freeze. I was in shock. I hadn’t processed his words until I heard the ‘click.’ My body shook as I collapsed.”
‘It’s all in your head. You just need to be happier. Go take a walk, be a ‘normal’ 20-something.’ I had just woken up, still bleary-eyed from anesthesia. These were the words my doctor said to me.’
“I laid there and sobbed, how could it have come back normal? After hearing enough doctors downplay my symptoms, watching them roll their eyes as they told me it was ‘just gas,’ I stopped telling anyone how miserable I was.”
‘Before I knew it, he lowered the mask onto my face. I remember thinking ‘please’ over and over. I sensed the desperation in their voices, and closed my eyes.’
“A man in dark blue scrubs followed me in. My heart stopped, my breathing hitched and suddenly I knew what was coming. I was only 16, how could I possibly be okay after this?”
