“By the time she was 4, her tomboy phase became something different. I remember getting her ready for school. ‘Mom, I want to dress like a girl today!,’ she said. I went out to the living room and told my husband to ‘not make a big deal about what she was wearing.’ He was her protector.”
‘Are you a boy or a girl?’ My daughter responded with the craziest look on her face. ‘I’m a girl!’ I knew she was gay. I always knew she was ‘different.’
‘I came out during my valedictorian speech. For years, I kept my secret hidden until it ate away at my conscience. I cut everyone off, paranoid they’d notice.’
“I was taught that men do not cry, so all of my emotions were kept inside. When the day came, I was extremely nervous. I changed my mind over 15 times. I was sweating and told myself I couldn’t do it. But I knew I had to.”
‘I was in an abusive relationship. She was a lesbian with a man she didn’t love. I was falling for her. One day, she strolled up to me, a grin on her face. ‘I want to be with you.’
“I was shocked, confused, taken aback. I’d never been with a woman before. I stammered, stuttered, and turned into a blubbering mess. I listed all the reasons why it wouldn’t work. I was scared to admit my feelings. Then my mom told me something I’ll always remember.”
‘I was still being bullied. I developed a crush on a cute boy. He told me, ‘Here, take this. It will make you feel so much better. You won’t have any pain.’ I immediately felt like I was on cloud nine.’
“‘Momma, can I come back home?’ I remember thinking, ‘You can’t save me, it’s too late, I am slipping away quickly.’ She kissed my forehead. ‘You are stronger than you know.’ I never heard from my ex again.”
‘My mom quickly shut the door. ‘I’m gay,’ she said. It didn’t make sense. My parents slept in the same bed, said ‘I love you’ every day. I looked in her eyes and said 3 words I regret to this day.’
“‘I’m seeing a woman.’ My mom and dad were still married. My thoughts were spinning. ‘You remember her, right? We both nodded our heads. In fact, I loved going over to her house. The next question out of my mother’s mouth floored me. I was shocked.”
‘I heard my brother yell, ‘Luke, move!’ I felt something hit my head. I instantly felt sick. I saw a gray beard, a man and his fist. I stood frozen. ‘Get away from them!’
“I stood in the living room, my hands shaking. I looked my mother in eye as she said, ‘What’s this important news you have?’ I nervously said, ‘Promise you won’t hate me?’ A look of concern crossed her face. I blurted out, ‘I’m gay, I have a boyfriend.’”
‘I married the man of my dreams, created a family, and realized after 9 years we weren’t able to pray the gay away.’
“He pulled me aside and told me he ‘struggled’ with homosexuality. My response: ‘Wow, you’re going to need a really strong wife!’ For the very first time, Kyle actually said out loud, ‘I am a gay man and I want to be with a man.’”
‘My father came out to me when I was 28, and he was 49’: How mom handled her dad’s gay marriage with her kids
“Whatever happens, whatever they hear, whatever they ask, we are ready. It’s not as complicated as I once imagined. Love is love. And kids understand love.”
