“Everyone asked if we were doing anything special in honor of Alex on the first anniversary of his death. I refuse, to this day, to call it an anniversary. It is the day our lives changed forever. Anniversaries are for celebrating. So I just call it the day Alex died.”
‘The ache in my heart starts around the holidays. I know I am being ‘watched.’ I’m actually afraid everyone will think I have moved on and forgotten my son.’
‘Mom, we have to take them home.’ It was so hard to look at these girls and not cry. It was like looking into the eyes of my sister, eyes I had not seen in 8 years, eyes I would never see again.’
“The woman who had the girls was not at all family, but a friend from church. They had been removed from her care and were in a foster home. After we got off the phone, I panicked – what was I going to do?”
‘I knew she wasn’t going to make it. I whispered, ‘I love you.’ I felt a faint squeeze of her hand.’: Woman loses mother and sister to addiction, says they ‘never learned to cope’ without drugs
“My mother took me down into a basement with some strange men. They packaged up large bottles of what I was told were antibiotics. I was only 12 at the time. I put them in my backpack. The rest of the trip my mother was incoherent. She couldn’t even keep her head up. That was the last straw for my dad. Later I found out that she had me carry over 1800 pills of narcotics and muscle relaxers that she planned to use all for herself.”
‘Gunner went out with friends Friday night. They came back and stayed up playing video games, like most 19-year-olds do. At some point, Gunner, and his friend, took a pill.’
“He has no history of drug use, has never been a ‘problem child’, was a star athlete, wonderful son and was extremely loved in his community. We don’t know why he decided to take ‘a pill’ that night. Both boys died immediately.”
‘Their engagement ended, and he had an extra 6 months to look forward to in the jungle. He is a Vietnam Veteran. He is tougher than nails. He is often on the verge of tears.’
“His sister was enjoying the freedom that came with being a hippie. He went to her home, in uniform. That day, she overdosed on drugs. When the ambulance came, she looked at him and said, ‘I wish you had been killed over there.’”
‘He got involved with women who resembled his mother. He was in a dark place. What he found, was heroin.’: Woman loses the love of her life to addiction, urges he was ‘not just some junkie’
“‘I never want you to meet my mother,’ he would tell me. I assured him she couldn’t scare me away. The cops told him to pack clothes and leave his mother’s house. ‘You aren’t going to arrest her for assaulting me?’ The cop replied, ‘You’re a big guy. There’s nothing I can do.’ I remember just shaking my head, leaning in for a hug. I love you more, Michael. But that love wasn’t enough.”
‘Today is a monumental day. A few months ago I wrote about my son’s struggle with addiction. A miracle came from that post.’
“I received a message from a stranger in Missouri who said she could help us if we were interested. Not being one to ask for help, I was really hesitant to respond.”
‘One mom wrote me after relapsing, again. She was feeling such shame, afraid I would think differently of her.’
“I have been Mama to 12 over the last 4 years. Our family is twisty and tangled. A story of commitment, choice and tragedy.”
‘Nobody thought I had a problem, I was just the life of the party. I was reaching out for help, but doctors didn’t believe me. I was even suicidal on my wedding day.’
“I knew something was terribly wrong. I was in law school about to collapse on the floor of my dorm room when I realized my life would never be the same again. It was like an all-night-long strobe light party in my brain.”
‘The other day I read I was a victim. Because my son died, I am considered a victim. I threw the book away.’
“I never thought I would laugh again. I didn’t deserve it. I lost a child. I had no right to be happy.”
