pain

‘I’m sorry, I can no longer touch you.’ I cried. I was ‘unholy.’ They brainwashed you.’: Woman loses husband to religious cult, ‘I am mourning someone who is still alive’

“You promised me forever. When I accepted your engagement ring, I didn’t know ‘forever’ was only 2 more years. You didn’t even say goodbye. All you said was, ‘I hope you join,’ and closed the door. I chased after you, held onto your pant leg. You shook me off. ‘Please, just read the verses.’ The love of my life was swept away by a cult. I spend each day praying he’ll snap out of it.”

‘What do I do with a daughter? I can’t do this.’ I was terrified, wracked with fear.’: Mom terrified of having daughters after trauma of being raised by mom with mental illness

“In a perfect world, each of us would have mothers who are quick to show love, affection. I was the little girl who didn’t understand what that felt like. I’ve heard of times my mom took care of herself. She had shoes to match every outfit, was always so put together. This beautiful woman who looked so classy, elegant. But I know nothing of this person my mother was. She was cold, harsh. Much of her medical history is a secret.”

‘Why are you fat and your parents aren’t?’ It was so hurtful. I didn’t have an answer for her.’: Woman discovers unexplained weight gain due to ‘fat disease’ diagnosis called ‘Lipedema’

“I knew there was something off about my body. During a friend’s wedding, we were getting fitted for dresses. This bridal shop didn’t have mirrors in the dressing rooms, so you can’t see how terrible things look. Well, they didn’t have my size. I was falling out of it. It felt like an episode of ‘Mean Girls.’ My best friend turned to her coworker and said, ‘I wish everyone had a body like you.’ I left and cried in my car.”

‘I remember his name, I remember his face, but most of all, I remember his scream.’: Nurse says healthcare professionals have a ‘different kind of resilience, ‘They are superheroes, in every sense of the word’

“As I stepped into the room, I experienced something I never could have prepared myself for. The look of absolute misery on his face, the way the tears streamed down his cheeks, the way his eyes pleaded with us to stop. I helped hold him down. It was necessary, yet so horrible. I had tears in my eyes. I went home that day wondering how I was going to come back tomorrow.”

‘Since you’re 30 weeks, we do a mental health evaluation,’ she said matter-of-factly. I hesitated. ‘Uhhh. Okay.’: Mom shocked to be diagnosed with antepartum depression, depression during pregnancy, after nurse midwife surprised her with ‘mental health evaluation’

“Immediately, the nurse midwife started asking me questions. ‘In the last 2 weeks, have you had thoughts of harming yourself or taking your own life most days, some days, or not at all?’ Me: ‘Most days.’ My throat became dry and tight. I couldn’t hide it anymore.”

‘This is just my daycare. My mom is coming back for me.’ She never came.’: 22-year-old finally adopted by ‘forever family’ after years of trauma, abuse in foster homes

“The last time a police officer came to my house, he asked, ‘Do you want to go get a cookie?’ I was only 5, so that was a big deal. I didn’t understand why my biological mom was crying as we drove away. We picked up my sister at school, then waited at DHS to drive us to a foster home. All we had were the clothes on our backs, and even those were dirty. ‘I need a place to stay until I figure out where to go,’ I said.”

‘Where do I go?’ His voice cracked. My ex-husband slept on my couch, I’d lock my bedroom door and leave.’: Mom recalls ‘awkward’ co-parenting while her ex-husband slept on her couch after marriage split

“‘I don’t want to keep doing this. I can’t.’ I was sitting on the floor of our dream home. ‘What?’ His voice cracked. I could hear the pain and disbelief. ‘Is this really happening?’ I knew in my gut I wouldn’t recover in this marriage. I needed space. I needed to find out if I could survive this hidden trauma. I’d been lying to the world, but worse, I’d been lying to myself. I hated sharing my new home.”

‘She was Jane Doe – 53. Whoever dropped her off, left. Didn’t give her name, nothing. She was almost dead.’: Daughter of an addict urges others struggling to ‘seek help,’ ‘don’t let it steal you away from those who love you the most’

“My dad called me. Someone on social media had messaged my sister telling her that our mom had passed away. I broke down. Crying uncontrollably, I couldn’t breathe. My 2-year-old son didn’t understand why his mommy was so upset. All I ever hoped for was now shattered. She was gone, the mom I needed. We waited for the coroner to confirm it. Meth and heroin mixed together. That was the last straw. I never meant to hate her, but sometimes I did.”

‘This morning, your son died. You stare at the ceiling, hoping your nightmare will be over. I know.’: Mom pens haunting letter to her ‘past self’ warning of grief she’s about to endure

“Right now it feels hopeless. As you hold your lifeless baby in your arms, you’re silently pleading for a miracle you know won’t come. You’re aching, screaming inside. Every tear that falls on his still face feels like a piece of your soul trying to seep life back into him. Every breath you take feels like betrayal. How can you, when he is not. I know.”

 Share  Tweet