“Your child ever wake up screaming in pain of an ear infection? Because it takes 30 minutes for pain meds to kick in, this is the handiest trick you will ever learn.”
‘I’m about to share a coveted family secret with you. With ears prone to infections and broken eardrums, I use this all the time.’
‘I don’t know why your husband’s in pain, he has no meningitis.’ I’ll never forget when the nurse angrily said this to me when I told her my husband said his head feels like it’s on fire.’
“When I got back nurses and doctors were running in his room, yelling ‘code blue!’ I wasn’t allowed in the room – they were intubating him. I felt like someone kicked me in the stomach. I was sobbing.”
‘My husband would say odd things like, ‘My chest hurts. I feel like I’m having a heart attack.’ I would find him sitting down in the shower. I started getting angry. He was not demanding answers.’
“My doctor’s face turned white. My stomach was in my throat and I wanted to scream. A second doctor entered and said, ‘It’s okay. They all look great!’ She showed me the monitor. Not 1, not 2 but 3 babies!”
‘The doctor intensively listened to her heartbeat – troubled by what he heard. We realized the severity of the situation. Immediately dropping to my knees in despair, we moved into the hospital.’
“I immediately started CPR and called 911 while my husband tried to keep the boys out of the room. Things escalated quickly. Before I knew it, our road was blocked by police, firefighters, and an ambulance. All these people lent us their hands in attempt to save our daughter.”
‘I begged for you to stay the night, but you said you had to go. I gave you a big hug, not knowing it would be the last. You told me you would see me soon. I believed you.’
“As it hit midnight, I felt this overwhelming urge to call you. I knew something wasn’t right. I fell to the floor in shock. ‘Your sister has taken her life.’ I could not believe you were gone.”
‘Gunner went out with friends Friday night. They came back and stayed up playing video games, like most 19-year-olds do. At some point, Gunner, and his friend, took a pill.’
“He has no history of drug use, has never been a ‘problem child’, was a star athlete, wonderful son and was extremely loved in his community. We don’t know why he decided to take ‘a pill’ that night. Both boys died immediately.”
‘His mommy issues consumed him. He got involved with women who resembled his mother. He was in a dark, dark place. He looked for a way out of that pain, and what he found, was heroin.’
“He was sneaky, and he didn’t like to be told what to do. He loved me more than anything. He was so, so proud to have finally ‘conquered me,’ as he would say. But that love wasn’t enough.”
‘Loving the girl who lost her father. This role isn’t for the faint of heart.’
“You adore a woman who will forever be a little girl who lost her daddy. The very first man who loved her is no longer hers to have.”
‘He thought he lost his wedding ring. We went back in, couldn’t find it. I asked him again where he thinks he lost it. ‘I don’t know. I just heard it hit the ground.’
“He was confused. He was tired. I couldn’t even be upset. ‘We will find it. It’s ok.’ My heart said we would. My brain knew we wouldn’t. Right then, I accepted he was going to die, and he was going to do that without his ring.”
‘He was her strength, her protector, her everything – until he wasn’t. Nothing, absolutely nothing, prepared us for the affect it would have on Dad.’
“He started calling at 4 a.m. He was extremely agitated. Panicked. He told us we have to come get him – NOW! The father we know and love is almost unrecognizable to either of us.”
