Parent

‘You’ve caught an infection. If we don’t remove these babies, you will become sepsis. You can die.’ Tears ran down my face. ‘This is not where I hoped to see you,’ my doctor said. Neither did I.’

“‘You are having twins!’ I looked at my husband. We were in total shock. When we went to the doctor experiencing bleeding, we were sure something else was the issue — not twins. It was a dream come true. Minutes later, I sat on the toilet. I heard a ‘pop.’ I felt this flow of water between my legs.”

‘Does that hurt?’ He smelled of liquor. I grabbed my baby girl and got in his face. All of the red flags were there, but I ignored them. I thought my love could make him a better man.’

“He’d deliberately go out and ‘ghost’ me. I felt trapped in a thick fog of confusion, heartbreak, and betrayal. My children and I grew to appreciate when he left to work. We could be ourselves and not have to walk on eggshells. Every time he’d swindle his way back in, I felt like I betrayed myself.”

‘When we were just about done with the foster process, I GOT PREGNANT. I peed on 14 sticks because I couldn’t believe it. We thought we were ready. I didn’t realize the roller coaster it’d be.’

“We had a 6-month-old baby and added an emotional 5-year-old to the mix. There were days where I felt like I was babysitting someone else’s kids. People told me I wouldn’t be able to love these children as my own. You come in expecting everything to fall into place. It doesn’t work like that. I had no idea what I was doing.”

 Share  Tweet