parenthood

‘Why did you cut her?! She didn’t give you permission to do that.’ My blood boiled. He just stared, his face blank.’: Doctor performs episiotomy on mother without her permission during childbirth because he had ‘somewhere to be at 7 p.m.’

“Snnniiipppp. My doctor used scissors to cut me open ‘down there’ to make it easier to push the baby out. ‘What did you do?!’ I asked the male, 50-year-old doctor, with fear in my voice. Even the nurses paused. Just 30 minutes before, my doctor told me, ‘I have somewhere to be at 7 o’ clock, so you better be able to push this baby out soon.’ My husband’s rage was rising. I squeezed his hand. ‘We can’t do this now.’”

‘I’m a hot mess. Am I wearing workout leggings? You betcha! Do I plan to work out after this? Hellz to the no.’: Mom hilariously warns fellow school parents to ‘not be alarmed,’ but also, ‘please don’t get any closer’

“I have not showered today. Or yesterday. It’s whatever. I’ll be dragging one of my twin boys by his backpack as the other tries his darndest to run into the street, with not 1, but 2 additional babies on my hip. No, they aren’t also twins. They’re 7 months apart. It’s a long story, and it’s fun to watch the confusion wash over your face. You never know what kind of menagerie might pop out of this here clown car. Prepare to be amazed!”

‘What is it like? To be a mom?,’ she asked, while clutching her barely pregnant belly.’: Mother of 5 says she didn’t want to ruin friend’s ‘sweet anticipation’ with the ‘harsh truth’ of parenting

“A friend of mine is expecting her first child. I laughed, because she was so excited. So earnest. I didn’t want to dash through her sweet anticipation with the harsh truth. My energy was drained. I was in survival mode. With days like this, comes guilt. I want to tell her all this, but then I consider maybe I should tell her about the other side of parenthood. The good stuff.”

‘The night before you send your kid to Kindergarten is a strange place. You’ll feel pain your heart hasn’t felt before.’: Mom reminisces about first days of Kindergarten, claims ‘you’ll survive this, too’

“You’ll study her face and worry. What if she gets lost in the hall? What if she doesn’t make a single friend? What if she doesn’t think about you at all? Does she know every sandwich, every pool day, every morning we snuggled in bed, I didn’t want to be anywhere else? It’ll feel like forever ’til you see her little face on that sidewalk, but I guarantee you, it’ll be smiling. She’s a different kid. She grew up today.”

‘I got a text from my son. ‘I’ve had Zeus for one whole night, and I’m already exhausted.’: Mom hilariously sits back and watches her son become a ‘dog dad,’ laughs at all his new ‘parenting’ responsibilities

“Who is Zeus, you ask? Great question, because I asked the same thing. Apparently, he has a dog. Not just any dog, but a Siberian Husky puppy. It’s cute and all, but if the dog is half as much work as my son was as a toddler, he’s totally screwed. In some ways, I want to warn him, but in others, my little black heart is smiling watching karma come full circle.”

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