pills

‘I was 45, divorced, childless. The single, desperate, drunk girl at the bar. My biological clock was DEAFENING.’: Woman battles depression, addiction for decades, now ‘healthy’ and ‘loving life’

“I stumbled through my 30s drunk, suicidal, barely eating, and pill-popping. My shopping list of life didn’t have ONE tick on it. I felt incredible pressure to ‘do’ life in the right order, by the right age. School, college, career, man, marry, house, kids and then live happily ever after. Yet, I didn’t have any of it. I clung to the only thing I had going for me, my skinny body and long hair! Now, smack on a new ‘label’ of mentally ill. Proof I was indeed broken and had to correct what was ‘wrong’ with me.”

‘I sat there and cried, a shotgun in hand, my son in the next room. I was taken away in an ambulance while he slept.’: Woman overcomes suicide, years of addiction, says there’s ‘always possibility for change’

“He proposed. I thought marriage would fix my problems. 3 weeks before the wedding, I got fired, wrecked my car, and burned my foot to the 3rd degree. I couldn’t stay sober. That’s when he told me he couldn’t marry me and he cancelled the wedding. My attorney looked at me and told me I was looking at prison time. There was nothing more I could do.”

‘I was lying on a ‘friend’s’ kitchen floor. Standing over me were paramedics and a police officer. ‘You’re lucky we’re not busy today,’ the cop looked at me and said. I lied to everyone.’

“I met someone. The wrong someone. A friend. Or so I thought. I was catapulted into a world no one should experience. It was raining. The sky was black and the storm wasn’t letting up. I felt this strong feeling of evil hanging around me that day. My ‘friend’ was with me. I looked in the mirror and at that point, I knew.”

‘I really messed up Will. I’ll call you soon.’ Nothing prepares you for this. I pulled over and lost it. I look back at conversations I had with my sister and tears run down my cheek.’

“Emily was such a gifted kid. I was the jealous older brother. I always thought she would be going places. Until things changed. We received a large inheritance from our grandmother’s passing. It was like a switch. ‘I never want to see or speak to you again,’ I said to my sister.”

‘Our daughter has been placed in protective custody,’ my husband said. ‘We will deal with that later,’ I remember replying. Because first, I needed to get high.’

“During a routine traffic stop, my 3-year-old daughter sat unknowingly in the back – so innocent. She cried as I was taken away in handcuffs. I find out I’m pregnant. I’m deep into my addiction – 95 pounds and shooting heroin multiples times a day. I tell my OBGYN. This was a rock bottom plea for help.”

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