pool

‘Mama, can you come in the water with me, please?’ She was ignored. ‘Mama, come play with me?’ She asked 4 more times. Mama glanced over at her, but never got off the phone.’

“While at the pool, I watched a young Mama and her little daughter enter, dressed in very nice coordinating swimming suits. The mom talked loudly on her phone while her daughter stood waiting. I imagined the photos she took being perfectly posted with a caption like, ‘Pool time with my girly!'”

‘Lathered in sunscreen, poolside, I suddenly realized my son wasn’t with me. My eyes hit the shallow end. I spotted a toddler completely submerged in water. The world stopped. I plunged in.’

“I was not the mother to make this kind of error. The mother who looked away. ‘If he’s alive, he’d be kicking, fighting.’ Why wasn’t he fighting? I pulled him onto the cement and thrusted my hand against his back. Fingernails pink, skin pale, lips discolored. His white knuckles gripped my neck. ‘ANDREW. Andrew, please come back to me.'”

‘Why we are doing NOTHING this summer.’

“I had big plans to be a ‘good mom’ this summer. There were going to be chore charts, reading goals, daily letter writing practice, and cursive classes.”

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