poop

‘Last night, my soul left my body. Yes, I pooped out my soul and went to heaven. And now I’m a brand new man.’: Man hilariously shares Magnesium Citrate ‘near-death experience’ after eating 20 ‘nuclear wings’

“Until last night, I didn’t understand the term ‘shiz storm.’ I was looking down on myself from the sky, watching all of my internal organs liquefy and spray out like someone jumped on a balloon full of Nutella. After 4 straight hours of pooping, I passed out on the bathroom floor for 2 hours only to be awoken by my dog licking me to see if I was dead.”

‘Are you kidding me, mom?! Help me!’ It’s an explosion of epic proportions. Do we salvage this outfit? Heck. NO!’: Mom hilariously recounts every mother’s worst nightmare, the diaper blowout

“It’s so goopy. It’s E V E R Y W H E R E! In crevasses you didn’t know existed. It’s up the back, and down the legs. More creeps onto your hand with every wipe. You’re gagging. You pick baby up and hold him Lion King style, praying that none splatters onto the floor as you shuffle towards the sink. ‘This isn’t that bad… this isn’t… that… bad…’ You’re trying not to be dramatic. But you’re totally being dramatic.”

‘My husband ate 12 DOSES of Ex-lax. I called Poison Control because he thought he was dying. I literally cannot stop laughing.’: Wife hilariously recounts 39-year-old husband’s mistake, is ‘still crying’ and ‘unable to speak’ from laughing so hard

“The Poison Control guy was like, ‘The biggest risks are cramping, dehydration, and diaper rash.’ DIAPER RASH! I was NOT ready for this dude to come at me with diaper rash. I completely lost it. He kept chuckling and going, ‘Oh boy. Oooooooh boy.’ I’m wheezing just thinking about it.”

 Share  Tweet