“I finally reached my breaking point. My wife was getting ready to leave town for work. I had a panic attack and Brittany had to cancel her trip. It was hard for her. She didn’t know how to help me. It hurt her to see me struggling, I could see it in her eyes. I was embarrassed. I wanted someone to say, ‘You’re not alone, it happened to me too.’”
‘We will love you no matter what, even if you decide not to stick around.’ I was scared of losing her. I finally reached my breaking point.’: Gay mom suffers postpartum anxiety after struggling with infertility, ‘I desperately wanted to be understood’
‘I had a hard time clothing her. I was sure I’d break her neck.’: New mom recalls ‘mean, vicious cold days’ in throes of postpartum anxiety
“I had been placed in a small, windowless hospital room that was 80 degrees. I was rotating between sweating because I was warm to shivering from having cold sweats. The medicines from labor were messing with me. I tried to keep it together but whenever a nurse left my room, I burst out crying. There was so much paperwork to fill out. I was alone.”
‘My dad began boarding up the windows for fear of people watching him. Spending nights in our attic filming neighbors. Insisting there was footage of a red laser being shined into his room.’
“My father was not a part of my life early on. He was successful businessman and wasn’t ready for a kid. But my mom was struggling, and he could give me what my mom couldn’t. Until he changed too.”
‘Here I was, a 3-month-old in hand, her father leaving because he couldn’t handle my postpartum depression.’: Young mom overcomes suicide, ‘bliss lies on the other side of pain’
“On Christmas night, I sat on my empty floor, no tree, no presents, just silence. I saw a kitchen with hardly any food. The only items I had to my name were a bag of clothes and a computer. I looked at my daughter sleeping so sweetly, and something deep inside me broke. I told my daughter that night would be the last night. She didn’t deserve any of this.”
‘Our daughter was referred to as a number, I still remember that number to this day. I dropped to my knees and cried and begged and pleaded.’
“I felt so guilty, why couldn’t my body handle being pregnant?”
‘Weeks before boot camp, he said, ‘What if we get married?!’ I knew the risks. The statistics were against us. But if I said no, I knew every ounce of me would regret it.’ Military spouse candidly recounts ‘navigating the chaos’ of marrying, conceiving young
“When I got pregnant, we had a fairy tale image of what our little life would look like. NO ONE tells you the effect a baby can have on your relationship with your spouse. We went from the comforts of our family homes to navigating life on our own. From regular date nights and weekend outings to sleeping in shifts. We barely spoke. Our connection and intimacy had gone numb.”
‘I will never forget her eyes. She looked directly at me, shouting to get the doctor. ‘What’s going on, what’s happening?’ ‘The cord is hanging out of you.’ ‘What does that mean?’
“I’m rolling down the hall looking at lights in the ceiling as I go by. I wake up and Jade’s standing there with Layla. But something isn’t right. I’m keeping a secret from everyone.”
‘After losing twins, we thought we’d paid our dues. Our life’s suffering was now complete. We were wrong.’: Mom loses ‘rainbow baby’ with heart defects, knows she will meet him ‘in heaven’
“We were overjoyed at my pregnancy. New life was coming! But scans and tests told us it’d come with major heart defects, a missing chamber, faulty valves, and an aorta split into 2 pieces. Blindness. Deafness. A cleft lip and palate. Still, doctors were hopeful. Until they weren’t. ‘He’s a sick guy.’ I was told this in a ‘why the long face? didn’t you expect this?’ kinda way.”
‘That’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen.’ Sharing twin bump photos was my first shock. Then the babies actually arrived.’: Mom embraces postpartum belly after twins, encourages us to ‘love ourselves’ no matter our size or shape
“My husband was on military duty, and I was all alone. He’d joked with me the weeks before that I was definitely having twins because I was already showing, and he was right. My body was and is completely different. I have these 2 new precious lives, but also this brand-new belly, stretch marks, and lose skin. As a fitness trainer, I no longer ‘fit the part’ with chiseled abs and a six pack.”
‘The baby suddenly gagged, then violently vomited what seemed to be a weeks’ worth of breast milk. I held her up, lifeless.’: Mom suffers from PTSD, anxiety after traumatic event with 5-week-old daughter
“I immediately told my oldest to dial 9-1-1. She was trembling. I realized she was unable to call; she dialed 1-9-9 in utter fear. My baby was unresponsive. Then, we saw her move. She had aspirated on breast milk. I drowned my baby. This is all my fault. I wasn’t ok.”
