“I felt at my breaking point. ‘JUST SLEEP FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!’ Slamming doors and screaming, I was having a temper tantrum of my own.”
‘When I learned I was having twins, I cried. ‘But I already have a baby!’ were the first words out of my mouth as the ultrasound tech told me there was not ONE, but TWO embryos in there.’
‘The baby suddenly gagged and then violently vomited what seemed to be a weeks’ worth of breast milk. I held her up and she was lifeless. She was unresponsive.’
“I immediately told my oldest to dial 9-1-1. She was trembling. I was trying to figure out if the baby was breathing. I realized my oldest was unable to call; she dialed 1-9-9 in utter fear.”
‘I was rocking my crying baby in his bassinet, bubbling with rage. My hands going white from gripping the bassinet so hard. I shook it forcefully and I screamed, ‘What do you want?!”
“I loved my baby, so how could I be depressed? But I was. I was suffocating. I was literally gasping for air.”
‘Being on anxiety meds does not make me a failure. It means I am doing what I need to be the best I can for my kids, my family.’
“I am strong and I’m fighting anxiety daily. I am learning more about myself and my needs as a mom. I am brave. And I am not alone.”
How I manage my postpartum anxiety
“I had to find ways to keep the intense thoughts out of my head while caring for my son, along with keeping communication open with my husband.”
My silent struggle with postpartum anxiety
“I’m not here to talk about depression, I’m here to bring attention to its sister, postpartum anxiety.”
