PPA

‘Why couldn’t I just be the mom I’d pictured and do it right?’ I was going to love motherhood, every single second.: Mom suffers from depression/anxiety, finally realizes ‘I’m the mom I’m meant to be.’

“I cried, ‘Why does this feel so hard?!’ Maybe you’re thinking, ‘Duh, everyone knows motherhood is difficult.’ Still, I continued to be disappointed. No, not every day. But I was so focused on the mom I WASN’T, I didn’t take time to focus on all the things I was doing RIGHT.”

‘We will love you no matter what, even if you decide not to stick around.’ I was scared of losing her. I finally reached my breaking point.’: Gay mom suffers postpartum anxiety after struggling with infertility, ‘I desperately wanted to be understood’

“I finally reached my breaking point. My wife was getting ready to leave town for work. I had a panic attack and Brittany had to cancel her trip. It was hard for her. She didn’t know how to help me. It hurt her to see me struggling, I could see it in her eyes. I was embarrassed. I wanted someone to say, ‘You’re not alone, it happened to me too.’”

‘That’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen.’ Sharing twin bump photos was my first shock. Then the babies actually arrived.’: Mom embraces postpartum belly after twins, encourages us to ‘love ourselves’ no matter our size or shape

“My husband was on military duty, and I was all alone. He’d joked with me the weeks before that I was definitely having twins because I was already showing, and he was right. My body was and is completely different. I have these 2 new precious lives, but also this brand-new belly, stretch marks, and lose skin. As a fitness trainer, I no longer ‘fit the part’ with chiseled abs and a six pack.”

‘The baby suddenly gagged, then violently vomited what seemed to be a weeks’ worth of breast milk. I held her up, lifeless.’: Mom suffers from PTSD, anxiety after traumatic event with 5-week-old daughter

“I immediately told my oldest to dial 9-1-1. She was trembling. I realized she was unable to call; she dialed 1-9-9 in utter fear. My baby was unresponsive. Then, we saw her move. She had aspirated on breast milk. I drowned my baby. This is all my fault. I wasn’t ok.”

How I manage my postpartum anxiety

“I had to find ways to keep the intense thoughts out of my head while caring for my son, along with keeping communication open with my husband.”

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