“‘Am I allowed to kiss her?,’ I asked the nurse through tears. I didn’t want to leave. I cried even harder as they wheeled me out. I was frantic inside.”
‘I walked into the NICU. Her nurse said, ‘Hey momma, I was just about to call you.’ I knew that wasn’t good. My heart started pounding. I could feel it in my ears as I choked back tears.’
‘Yes of course, bring our boy home,’ I blurted out quickly. I started to panic. ‘Now is there one baby or two babies?’ He moved the probe and we saw it. ‘You’re pregnant, with twins.’
“My phone began to ring. My eyes rolled. I was still very bitter. ‘Hi Mrs. Amanda.’ Wait what? Is this for real? I looked down at my belly – I had two babies in my tummy who needed me, and now this? Really?”
‘The lady tells us she will be right back. I didn’t think anything of it, but my husband looks at me. ‘There’s something wrong.’ I will never forget the look in his eyes.’
“She starts to scan his face and tells us he has an abnormality. My emotions got the best of me. Before the doctor punctured my belly, my husband looked to me and said, ‘Do you wanna know?’ I couldn’t even speak.”
‘That baby in the photo, the one you can’t see. The one who’s all snuggled up inside her mama. She did not survive.’
“I had been in the hospital for a week being monitored. I was in the safest place that I could be and under constant supervision. And then, it happened.”
‘When I wiped, I felt something coming out. My world came crashing down. I got a sick feeling in my stomach – I knew what was about to happen.’
“I laid on that cold bed, put my feet in the stirrups and prayed. After moments that felt like forever, my doctor looked up at me. ‘You’re having twins!’ We were in shock. But seconds later, our doctor had a weird look on her face. She said, ‘Wait! I think I see triplets!’”
‘I’m finally happy, and now I’m going to die?’ I was losing blood from somewhere. My heart sank. I was terrified. All I could think about were my children and my husband.’
“My periods were out of control, I did nothing but bleed constantly. I would fill overnight pads within an hour. I stayed in pain, it was unbearable. My husband came home on his lunch and found me doubled over in the floor, unable to move.”
‘You guys did great. You did great 3 times,’ our doctor said as she laid out our sonogram with three little sacs. My mind was racing. Shock and fear set in.’
“Mike couldn’t speak. In fact, the doctor looked at him after we covered all the basics and said, ‘Dad, are you OK? You haven’t said anything.’”
‘When she moved or kicked, the pain brought me to my knees. Maybe I had a stomach bug. Little did I know this was going to be the most terrifying day of my life.’
“I was strapped down so I couldn’t move. ‘What if I feel him cut into me?’ My husband sat at my head and wiped away the tears that ran down my face.”
‘My worst nightmare was happening. I laid on the OR table gasping for air. ‘Help me! I can’t breathe!’ I stared into my mother’s eyes. I could see the fear written all over her face.’
“A huge splash of fluid hit the curtain in my face. All I could think was, ‘I’m going to die right here. I was born on this day, and I’m going to die on this day giving birth.'”
‘I finally blurted out through tears, ‘If my organs are starting to fail, why aren’t we doing an emergency C-section?’ I was scared. What was happening?’
“‘Oh honey,’ the doctor replied, ‘you’re just being hormonal. Every woman goes through a part of her labor where she doesn’t think she can do it.’ I was shocked. I wanted some damn answers.”
