“As the weeks edge closer to delivery day, I find myself conflicted with emotions. The joy and love I feel for this unborn child is genuine. But, child loss has broken me. This baby has already proved to help me heal, but she will never be a replacement for the son and daughter who died in my arms.”
‘This baby is not a replacement for the 2 children I lost.’ Mom pregnant with rainbow baby says even though this pregnancy is ‘completely different,’ there is still ‘fear and heartache’
‘I’m sorry. The adoption is over.’ He was being placed in foster care. I had this feeling, this wasn’t the end.’: Couple hikes the globe with kids after nearly failed adoption of ‘beautiful little boy’
“‘A lot has happened over the weekend. The birth mom had her baby on Friday night,’ the caseworker said. ‘Do you still want to go through with the adoption since he was born premature?’ That question absolutely baffled me. This baby boy was being placed in the foster care system.”
‘The checkout lady saw my cart. ‘Oh wow! Did you get too many things on your registry?’ Tears poured down my face. ‘No, two of my children died,’ I said. ‘I don’t need these anymore.’
“In addition to planning two funerals, my husband and I were left with a room full of baby items. Three boppy pillows, three bouncers, enough diapers for three little babies. I waited in line to return it all. The grief took a hold of me.”
‘To the parents of Abigail.’ I was shuffling through the junk mail, before tossing it in the trash. But the last letter left me frozen. My heart began racing. I gasped as I read the name.’
“As I stared at the letter, my hand started shaking. I found myself holding my breath, paralyzed by the shock of the unexpected. Seeing her name in writing after so many years caught me off guard.”
‘We almost lost her. Her feet were the size of Starbursts, and hands the size of Goldfish crackers. She was so tiny, but man was she feisty. Our girl was fearless.’
“I was lying in bed watching TV. I got up to go to the bathroom and I felt a huge gush of water. I was 22 weeks pregnant. Bryan wasn’t home, so I called my mom and she came over to drive me to the hospital, thinking I was just overreacting. A few hours later, the doctor confirmed it.”
‘He wanted me to get a second opinion. ‘Is it a boy or a girl?,’ I frantically asked. ‘Are you sure you want to know?’ ‘Yes, please tell me.’ ‘A boy, it’s a boy.’ Things like this don’t happen to people my age.’
“When our oldest son saw him, fear set in. He was scared. He loved him dearly, but seeing my son afraid of his baby brother is something I’ll never forget.”
‘Our life came to a halt. Our son was gravely ill. Looks can be deceiving. I tell him how guilty I am. His eyes become glassy. ‘I’m OK. I have a son,’ he says with a smile. I begin to sob.’
“As we pack up our belongings and head to the car, my husband can tell something is off. The moment we get into the car, I break down. We had been faced with the unimaginable. Two of our children passed away.”
‘I got pregnant too early in my relationship. I went home on my lunch break, positive test in my pocket. I was terrified to hand it over to him, but knew I had to. What were we going to do?’
“I started feeling ‘off’. I burst into tears. Everyone insisted I was just anxious. All I could do was pray my blood pressure went down, and my placenta hung in there. 30 seconds into my scheduled ultrasound, my doctor told me she was taking me to the operating room.”
‘Millions of dollars later, we’re finally home. I get to spend each day with the most amazing 14-pound child imaginable. Dammit, Baby B.’ Family’s amazing journey to overcome infertility
“I bled abundantly, but both babies continued to grow. My husband and I would leave appointments joking ‘dammit Baby B!,’ partially to prepare her for a lifetime of playful comparison, and partially to protect ourselves if something ever happened. We went into our 20-week scan assuming things were perfectly fine. They weren’t.”
‘I woke in such incredible pain. All I wanted to do was see our new baby. It’s hard to explain the first time you see your child this small. The first half hour I cried because I feared so much for his life.’
“My doctors took Dylan out as quickly as possible and focused on saving me. I had lost a 3rd of my blood and needed a hysterectomy. I had a 5 hour surgery after Dylan was whisked away to the NICU.”
