“At first he was speechless, and then asked me if it was real. Next thing I know he is in tears, then I’m in tears.”
‘At first they thought both stuck, then they thought it was a chemical pregnancy, and then they weren’t sure if it was viable. Then I found blood. I was 100% sure I was losing the twins.’
‘I yelled, ‘Oh my God, He’s coming!’ as I felt his head pop out, I stood up hoping to catch my tiny son, but he just slid right out and landed in the toilet.’
“Five minutes before our flight was to board, we all piled into the tiny family restroom and I sit down on the toilet. The firefighter asked me ‘Heather, how far along are you?’”
‘This is dwarfism and I’m 99% certain the result will be fatal.’ There it was. A bomb. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t talk, I didn’t understand at all. She was perfect.’
“As she rambled, completely ignorant of the fact I was in my own puddle of tears, she wrung her hands. It was horrible. At that point, my mother stepped in. She and my husband scooped me out of the chair and we left, never to return.”
‘Did you have genetic testing done?’ I went into panic mode. My cheeks got hot, mouth dry and how did my tongue suddenly get too big for my mouth? I said no. ‘Do you see something?’
“I stared deep into my friend’s eyes, begging, ‘is he okay? I can’t see his face.’ My husband reluctantly showed me. He knew what I yet didn’t. No one did. No one believed us. I said it. I said what I had been internalizing all along.”
‘Her skin hardened within seconds. After hardening, it began to split. Behind the curtain, I sensed their frantic panic. My husband’s silence scared me. He kept saying, ‘It’s bad.’
“He told me, ‘Jennie, I looked in her eyes, and she has the most beautiful soul.’ Broken is the only way to describe the feeling as they placed her in my arms. They had never seen anything like this. She was fine; everything was perfect, and then it wasn’t — just like that.”
‘As I read their story, I cried. Not because I was regretting giving ‘my’ babies to someone else, but because I knew they were the ones meant to raise these kids.’
“We didn’t care if he/she was married, their religion, their sexual preference…we just wanted to make sure it was someone who would love these children. It wouldn’t be long before we were matched with someone.”
‘In the coldest bedside manner, he said, ‘It is extremely rare and there is no cure. IF she lives, she will stop mentally developing at 2 months old.’ I just stared at him, my body slowly over heating.’
“I could feel the nausea setting in. I could feel the walls closing in on me. I could feel Bobby fuming. I told him get me out of there. I was BORN to be her mom. She is here to prove everyone wrong.”
‘I heard rumbling uncharacteristic of the bathroom. Shouting ensued. I burst in to discover my son had hurled a suitcase into the shower at his sister.’
“I heard a frantic screaming from upstairs. My daughter had gone into the bathroom to use the toilet. This provoked the unbridled anger of her brother. Infuriated, he stood and peed on her in retribution.”
‘I heard 3 things when he was finally out: ‘He’s here, he’s breathing, and he has a TON of hair!’ What a joyful moment. I say moment – because the joy only lasted that long.’
“My anxiety was high the morning of our 30-week scan, the morning our world was turned upside down. There was a lot of small talk, and then there was silence. I looked at my fiancé with tears in my eyes. ‘I knew it.’”
‘When I was 18 years old, I had an abortion. The reasons were deplorable. I was in my first year of college, with a boyfriend I no longer loved. When I was 23, I had another abortion.’
“Before I could blink, I had an adoring husband, a 2-year-old and I was fresh off the ache of a miscarriage. When a recent layoff made insurance scarce and the price of genetic testing unreasonable, I went without it when I became pregnant once again.”
