pregnant

‘I rose as normal and glanced at the clock. ‘Let me wake her and change her diaper.’ I drop to my knees. 911 operator: ‘Whats your emergency?’ I scream, ‘My baby’s not breathing!’

“I desperately breathe air into my child. Medics rush in. Suddenly, I hear voices, machines. I’m listening for that cry I know. Everything pauses. They wrap her in a soft white blanket, slowly walking towards me as if presenting a gift. I push back, pleading with tears. I beg the doctors to try just a little longer.”

‘She was HIV+ and we knew she was our daughter. Time stopped when we saw her. She was absolutely beautiful and perfect, but her oversized clothes hung loosely on her tiny frail body.’

“We were looking for a child with HIV. When we learned she was positive, we KNEW she was the one. She was 2 years old and only weighed 15 pounds. I started seeing a trauma counselor. James learned how to breath in public again, knowing no one was coming after us. Then BAM – Morning sickness!”

‘There I was, crying over my newborn daughter, looking at my husband’s arm around another woman. I begged him to talk to me in person. He never called, never texted. My world flipped.’

“I had done everything right. The last 4 years were wiped away without reason. My mind kept replaying every situation over and over again. Not only was I going to school, working, and dealing with my parents’ divorce, but I was now about to be a single mom. I prayed for a sign I’d be okay.”

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