“I immediately told my oldest to dial 9-1-1. She was trembling. I was trying to figure out if the baby was breathing. I realized my oldest was unable to call; she dialed 1-9-9 in utter fear.”
‘The baby suddenly gagged and then violently vomited what seemed to be a weeks’ worth of breast milk. I held her up and she was lifeless. She was unresponsive.’
‘I’m sorry, but I don’t think he’s going to make it.’ I sat flabbergasted, tears instantly streaming. This was not how this day was supposed to go.’
“We were so stunned when the doctor informed us our baby didn’t stand a chance. I began questioning his claims. He became increasingly uncomfortable. He finally excused himself, but not before adding, ‘and if by some miracle he lives, he will never walk.’”
‘I began pushing my wife away as harshly as I could, yet she stuck around. Why? Why won’t she just leave? We are all miserable and it’s because of me. Doesn’t she see that?’
“My wife and son would come home and tip toe around me as my anger would rear its ugly head. Unbeknownst to me, my wife was scared to be out of the house for too long as that caused my anger to rise as well. ‘What the f*ck were you doing? You know I am f*cked up and can’t ‘babysit’ our son!,’ I would shout.”
‘I held my baby and cried. I’ve never felt so alone and helpless. But then, I felt a cold nose on my arm. He was looking up at me to say, ‘Don’t worry Mom, you’re not alone. You have me.’
“He is my Service dog, and my best friend. I needed a C-section. When the time, I gave him a wink and a short goodbye. ‘Can I see it?’ ‘It sure is a noisy little thing!’ ‘Let me see, let me see!’”
‘I began to notice a dramatic shift in him. He was irritable and on edge. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t take it anymore. He got home and said he was done.’
“He knew they would look at him like he was crazy. He didn’t want his coworkers to think he was weak or less than. Year after year, I’ve begged him to hold on.”
‘His demeanor changed. He told the nurse to get a doctor in there NOW. I started telling my mom I was sorry. I thought she was going to have to watch me die.’
“The anesthesiologist got in my face and told me I was leaving my children without a mother, that I was going to die on that table. He said, ‘This is as bad as it gets. Are you sure that’s the choice you want to make?’”
‘I’ve been hiding our family’s ‘secret’ for years. I have been silent. Masking our smiles. Faking OK. A complete nightmare. I am so sick of living in fear.’
“The officer had actually committed suicide and faked his own murder. This brought out things in Ty I had never seen before. Our family has been in nonstop crisis.”
‘He tried committing suicide by hanging. By the time he was found, he had no sign of life left in him. ‘No, no this can’t be happening. This can’t be real!’’
“I went home to an empty house that night and that’s when the nightmares began. My heart is racing. I’m panicking and crying.”
‘It was love at first sight. 3 days later, we were engaged. His symptoms of PTSD began to show. I would wear makeup to cover the bruises on my cheek.’
“His grandmother grabbed me and said, ‘You marry that boy. You don’t worry about anything anyone else has to say. They will get over it. Make him happy.’”
‘My husband and I arrived at the hospital to await our baby’s arrival. I had no idea the very bed I was settling in would soon become my death bed.’
“I became frantic. Something terrible was happening. I told my husband to find help immediately. He needed to prepare himself that he may leave the hospital with a baby, but not his wife.”
