quality time

‘Heaven forbid we decide to play hooky to visit Santa before our holiday break officially begins.’: Witty mom admits parenting isn’t at all what she imagined, ‘We haven’t breached the truancy threshold just yet’

“I imagined sipping Arnold Palmers on the deck, casually thumbed through the newspaper we would obviously be mature enough to have delivered by then. What I did NOT imagine was me at 5:14 a.m., shushing children from my bedroom, shouting, ‘IN THIS FAMILY, CHILDREN DO NOT GET UP BEFORE 6!’ and shoving a small corner of my pillowcase in my ear. I think we can all agree that raising children isn’t exactly how we pictured it.”

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