“We were about to walk out the door with a good bill of health when the doctor asked me if I had any concerns. That’s when I remembered her large tummy. He immediately laid her down on the exam table and began feeling around on her belly. His face quickly changed to concern. I looked at my husband and said, ‘This can’t be good.’”
‘I snapped a photo of my daughter on the exam table, bragging about my healthy girl. ‘Come feel this,’ the doctor said. I put my hand on her belly. My heart sank.’
‘After the diagnosis, we found out we were pregnant. It sent chills down my spine. All I could think was, ‘We don’t have enough time! How am I supposed to raise my children without him?’
“We were excited and broken. For much of my pregnancy, I struggled knowing that my baby would never meet the greatest man ever. He had this thing where he nicknamed each child on delivery day. Pistol, Bullet, Slug, and Cricket. There was so much anticipation for him to walk into that delivery room and call him by his ‘name’.”
‘We were celebrating 3 years of marriage. I thought life couldn’t get any better. When I laid down, I got news no one wants to hear. I ran to the bathroom and hovered over the toilet, dry heaving.’
“Tears rolled down my face. I went to lie down again and the entire sequence replayed itself. I could hardly believe it. Just like that, we transitioned from ‘recently married’ to ‘patient and caregiver’ and there was no stopping it. We began writing funeral plans.”
‘We don’t know how much time he has left. ‘Jason, I cannot lose one more moment.’ My husband nodded his head. ‘I know,’ he said. These will be our last family photos.’
“I wanted to save my son’s smile and innocence, since I couldn’t save him. When the end happens, I will have these memories to remind me of the wonderful times we had fighting a horrid disease. I will have those beautiful blue eyes I saw for the first time when he came into this world.”
‘I wore red lipstick during my mastectomy. The nurses joked I looked ‘too good’ for somebody having surgery. I had a huge party the night before. I bought a wig to look like Britney Spears!’
“We can all become overwhelmed with the negativity in the world. From my experience during cancer I can tell you there is so much good. My support even came from strangers.”
‘He was yelling down the hospital halls, ‘Best day ever!’ As happy as I was for my son, I felt such sadness for my daughter. She was diagnosed first.’
“Both of our babies had cancer. Even before their diagnoses, they were inseparable, best friends. We sometimes joke, he couldn’t even let his sister go through brain cancer without him.”
‘We have to tell her.’ The doctor left us to give the horrible news. I looked at Abby. ‘You know those bad headaches and vomiting you keep having?’ Abby looked at me. ‘Yes mom, they hurt.’
“‘Step out with me, we can talk in another room,’ the doctor said. I screamed, ‘No I don’t want to go, nothing is wrong with her!’ She tried to calm me down. ‘No no no no!’ I couldn’t breathe, my heart felt like it might burst.”
‘I’m sorry, but we found a mass in your daughter’s brain.’ I thought that would be the worst day of my life. Little did I know, only 13 days later, THAT would actually be the worst day of my life.’
“In a different ER, a few floors below from where my daughter was, another doctor pulled a different curtain, looked at my husband and me, and said, ‘I’m sorry.’ Time stopped at that moment.”
‘I was home alone one night. I was getting into bed when I took off my bra. That was when I felt it. It literally took my breath when I felt it.’
“When I was 24, I had everything. An amazing job, a home I loved, and a boyfriend I knew was going to be my husband. I couldn’t imagine life being more perfect, and at that age didn’t even think that life could take a turn. But it always does, doesn’t it?”
‘They just placed our children inside of my mother’: Mom is ‘blessed’ to be surrogate for cancer-stricken daughter’s twins
“I could not think of a better person than the woman who is my best friend, the woman who gave birth to me.”
