“My son kept holding his right side and screaming. They told me he was ‘just constipated’. ‘Constipation shouldn’t be making him scream.’ They thought I was some crazy helicopter mom. The doctor’s response? ‘Well, if it was real pain, you holding and consoling him wouldn’t be making him feel better like it is now.’ Boy, was she wrong. I could feel in my spirit something was wrong with my baby boy.”
‘I went home after my son’s transplant, only to receive an angry letter about the ‘eyesore’ exterior of my home.’: Woman’s son diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer, community unites to clean her home in wake of insensitive complaint
‘I hadn’t even held my baby yet when the doctor came in. ‘We’ve found a growth. You need to come back in 2 weeks.’ I lost it! The happiest day of my life quickly turned into the worst.’ Cancerous growth found on woman’s labor day
“I remember my husband crying. He never cries, so I knew it was serious. I had a new baby and two small children at home. All I could think was, ‘I’m gonna die. I’m not gonna see my kids grow up.’ I’d started bleeding at 6 weeks pregnant. I had 20 ultrasounds and everyone said the baby was fine. But I knew something else was going on.”
‘Are you pregnant? On drugs?!’ I abandoned my customer service post and collapsed into a chair. The edges of my vision darkened. I felt like I was drowning on dry land.’
“My high-school sweetheart cheated on me, then dumped me. My friends couldn’t cope with my ‘new normal’ and turned away. I didn’t want to be different. My body was thin, my face swollen. I looked like an alien. Minutes later, he pointed to a black hole of goo where my lungs should’ve been. I frantically tried to make it to the break room but blacked out.”
‘My doctor wouldn’t look at me. I stood there, crying like a baby. ‘I have it.’ My husband said the same. ‘What will happen to the kids?!’ My mind went into full blown panic.’
“I snapped. He thought I was going to rough him up. I wanted to. Then, I did the one thing you should never, ever do. For two weeks straight, I was afraid I wouldn’t wake up. I could tell he was scared.”
‘I’m coming over whether you like it or not.’ We had drinks and told stories about our Kile. Jack slept on my sofa that night. Then the whispers began.’
“Kile and I confessed our love with an intimate wedding ceremony at our house. I sat by his bedside in a white dress and promised to love, honor and cherish him until death do us part. I just didn’t expect it to be 5 days later. I don’t know when Jack’s feelings for me changed. Some say they we there all along. How dare these people judge me?”
‘I was asked if I had any questions. All I could manage to mumble was, ‘Will I lose my hair?’ I was 16. I was in high school. I was a girl. I couldn’t be bald. I just couldn’t.’
“Three words. That’s all it took. Three simple words. Everything was happening too fast. I just sat there, staring at the wall, trying not cry. When homecoming came, I had this beautiful red dress. I put on heels, makeup. Then I looked in the mirror and crumbled to the ground. What was I thinking? I looked ridiculous. I looked sick.”
‘Come feel this,’ the doctor said. I put my hand on her belly. My heart sank.’ Mom recalls daughter’s rare cancer diagnosis after thinking it was just an ‘umbilical cord hernia’
“I snapped the traditional well-check picture of my daughter sitting on the exam table, bragging about our healthy girl. We were about to walk out with a good bill of health when the doctor asked me if I had any concerns. That’s when I remembered her large tummy. He laid her down on the exam table, and his face quickly changed to reflect my concern.”
‘After the diagnosis, we found out we were pregnant. It sent chills down my spine. All I could think was, ‘We don’t have enough time! How am I supposed to raise my children without him?’
“We were excited and broken. For much of my pregnancy, I struggled knowing that my baby would never meet the greatest man ever. He had this thing where he nicknamed each child on delivery day. Pistol, Bullet, Slug, and Cricket. There was so much anticipation for him to walk into that delivery room and call him by his ‘name’.”
‘We were celebrating 3 years of marriage. I thought life couldn’t get any better. When I laid down, I got news no one wants to hear. I ran to the bathroom and hovered over the toilet, dry heaving.’
“Tears rolled down my face. I went to lie down again and the entire sequence replayed itself. I could hardly believe it. Just like that, we transitioned from ‘recently married’ to ‘patient and caregiver’ and there was no stopping it. We began writing funeral plans.”
‘We don’t know how much time he has left. ‘Jason, I cannot lose one more moment.’ My husband nodded his head. ‘I know,’ he said. These will be our last family photos.’
“I wanted to save my son’s smile and innocence, since I couldn’t save him. When the end happens, I will have these memories to remind me of the wonderful times we had fighting a horrid disease. I will have those beautiful blue eyes I saw for the first time when he came into this world.”
