rainbow babies

‘We cancelled our baby shower. I went from Googling dangly monkey earrings to ‘28-week baby premature survival rates.’: Woman expecting her rainbow baby says ‘I will continue to stay home and fight to be a helper’

“But then, people I love dearly got laid off. But then, I found myself on the phone with older family members I naively thought would live forever, suddenly wondering ‘what if.’ But then, people started to die. In what felt like a matter of minutes, it became more clearly into focus what was really at stake.”

‘We found a hole.’ His heart was beating. What did we miss?! I wasn’t a special needs mom. I didn’t have the qualifications for that.’: After 7 kids, 3 miscarriages, mom births baby with Down syndrome, ‘he is our extra special little man’

“‘His heart could be repaired,’ I thought. We could get past that, carry on. And then the doctor said, ‘This is very common with Down syndrome.’ That I didn’t want to hear. Surgery wasn’t going to fix that. I put it out of my mind. Our baby wasn’t going to have Down syndrome! Then the doctor said, ‘You have the option to terminate.’”

‘To get 2 children, I gave up 2. Creating a baby lost all allure. I was on a mission, detached from the actual act. Every app told me when to breathe, when to baby make. I couldn’t feel joy. It was all fear.’

“I found some elaborate way to share the news with my husband. The handcrafted note around our dog’s neck read, ‘Surprise! You’re going to be a father!’ Then a few weeks later, surprise you’re not. By the 3rd pregnancy, there was no special announcement. I didn’t buy a single item, not even a bib. How could I?”

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