rainbow

‘She is healthy and finally in my arms, thank God.’ I’d be lying if I said I was ‘okay’ at that moment. I wasn’t.’: Mom of rainbow baby kept pregnancy a secret as long as she could, feared losing pregnancy after miscarriage, ‘I doubted everything’

“I needed to go in for surgery. This terrified me. I thought I could handle the pain – I was wrong. I was in the bathtub. Tears flood my eyes. My daughter sat next to the tub, sharing blue raspberry Jell-O. ‘Do you need to take a bath? I can eat Jell-O with you.’ She is the most caring, sweet, and loving 3-year-old. Finally, it was announced we had a girl, her cord was cut, and she was laid on my chest. I was still sure something bad was going to happen.”

‘I flat out asked, ‘Would I be able to take my own photos during my C-section?’ She looked puzzled.’: Woman photographs her own C-section after losing baby in same OR last year, ‘That is empowering as hell’

“Mike shouted, ‘It’s a boy!’ I was clicking away, fighting back tears, trying to see my new babe, focus my camera. This was a surreal experience. Just 371 days before, in the exact same OR, our little Clark was also pulled out at this exact same spot. But there was no crying, no excited cheers, no shouts of ‘it’s a boy!’ He was born still. We knew our Clark sent this little one from heaven to be with us. Teddy’s birth was not only empowering, it was incredibly healing, too.”

‘He had curly blond hair, a perfect nose, pouty lips. They told me he was beautiful. I didn’t get to see.’: Mother survives ‘worst trauma’ after losing newborn son, insists daughter will grow up knowing big brother is ‘watching over her’

“I made the decision not to see and hold Jensen. It’s one of my biggest regrets I’ll ever have in my life. Honestly, I didn’t know how I could do it. I didn’t realize the permanence of him being really gone. Instead, I asked for a lock of his hair, and for them to take pictures of him. I wish I could go back to that moment, spend time kissing him. I wish I could’ve whispered in his ear, ‘I love you.’”

‘In a Waffle House bathroom, I wiped. Bright red blood. Stunned, ‘Oh my God, this can’t be happening again.’: Couple suffers 5 miscarriages to finally welcome surprise rainbow baby, ‘All 9 of my children are and were a gift from God’

“I called the doctor. ‘It should be ok, sometimes people spot. Just come in when you’re back.’ The bright red spotting didn’t stop our entire beach trip. We get to the doctors, in the same ultrasound room as our last baby. I stare at the same ugly ceiling, look at the same vagina poster. I yearn for baby to be ok like the babies pictured in the hideous Sears-looking newborn photos on the wall. It was not ok. The words came once again. ‘I’m sorry.’ Silence. Again. 5 times.”

‘He opened his beautiful, dark grey eyes, wise beyond his years. We made him comfortable, and waited.’: Mom vows ‘as long as I live, Daniel’s memory will too’ after losing son to congenital heart defect

“At the end of this long, exhausting appointment, Charity says, ‘Oh, and congratulations on your baby.’ Congratulations on our baby? You mean the one you told me is going to die? I ran out of that room so fast. Despite it all, his broken heart kept beating. I recall a single tear escaping my eye and falling on his face.”

‘Do you want to resuscitate?’ We needed to let him go. Sobbing, I told them, ‘No.’ It was time to stop fighting.’: Mom admits rainbow baby’s birth was ‘bittersweet’ after losing brother to ‘ultra-rare recessive disease’

“Furniture blocked off the hallway to give us privacy as we said goodbye. I watched my husband hold his son for the first and last time; I’d never seen him so broken. We held his hands and kissed his head, telling him we loved him, he didn’t need to fight any longer. When the doctor pronounced him, I asked her to carry him to the hospital morgue. I couldn’t do it myself. She swaddled him in a blanket, and left.”

‘Will is gay! Mom, I’m the first person to know!’ I immediately got nervous for him.’: 12-year-old gay son comes out, celebrated with epic outpouring of support from ‘Pride Tribe’

“My 12-year-old daughter appeared in the kitchen after school. She started a conversation the same way she always does – ‘MOM! Guess what?!,’ except this time it wasn’t followed with, ‘Kate likes so-and-so’ or ‘Mrs. O gave us so much homework!’ This time, her face lit up. ‘He told me first!’ I was happy her friend had confided in her, but I was scared for Will. I asked if he’d told his parents yet. The answer was ‘No.’”

‘How was school?’ He sobbed, ‘My best friend doesn’t want to hang out anymore because I’m gay.’: Mom to LGBT son ‘in tears’ after local family ‘plant seed of fear,’ ‘this is why moms like me lose their kids’

“I wanted to pull over, crawl in the back seat, and hug him. ‘She said her family doesn’t hang out with gay people.’ Tears dripped through his little fingers. When we got home, he climbed into my lap like a small child. ‘I love you so much. If I could take the pain away, I would,’ I whispered. ‘I know,’ he whispered back, ‘But you can’t take away the gay.’ My heart shattered.”

‘Finally, just my mommy and daddy.’ He sighed, before taking his last breath. We whispered, ‘We love you.’: Mom gets sign from baby in heaven moments before giving birth to rainbow baby daughter in hospital

“The day of the c-section I told my husband, ‘He will be with us, just keep an eye open for signs.’ After tear-filled moments in pre-op, we stopped in the hall. I laid there praying, staring up at the ceiling tiles. Just above me was a small sticker on an air conditioning vent. That’s when I saw it. In that moment, I smiled, so relieved. I knew he was here, watching over us.”

‘She looks like she’s been submerged under water.’ We never left the hospital. Her 321 days of life were there.’: Couple welcomes miracle baby ‘hand-picked’ by his ‘perfect sister in heaven’ after she died of congenital heart disease

“My heart was telling me she was beyond tired. She can only handle so much. Selfishly I wanted to keep her, regardless if that meant sitting in a hospital or not. But the pain my baby endured was enough to rip my heart out. After a long, hard fight, she left us to go to heaven, a place we all want to be. She was only 10.5 months old. We will indeed see Berkeley again one day, and oh my goodness, what a perfect day that will be.”

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